Movie Review: Battle of the Damned

Battle of the Damned
A: Action
Dir: Christopher Hatton
Cast: Dolph Lundgren

Battle of the Damned was probably made for R500. I'm actually being generous and quoting on the higher side. This is a sort of movie that makes Asylum products like Sharknado look like James Cameron action film; it's that cheap and tacky. It's ridiculous and in fact, mysterious that it got a theatrical release, that too in India.

A still from Battle of the Damned, which pits robots against zombies

The plot of the movie is simply this: the zombie apocalypse has arrived and the only ray of hope is Dolph Lundgren wielding a gun. It sure sounds like a cheesy 1980s movie, but instead of lampooning the spirit of that genre it becomes that genre. The beauty of films like Sharknado is that they're self-aware; they know that they are really bad.

They derive humour from parodying bad action movies from the past. Battle of the Damned does not indulge in parody; it's so stupid I pause to wonder if it knows how to spell parody.

Since the film is set in the future, there are a few robots that show up as well. They're navigated by Lundgren and programmed to kill zombies. When asked, they even state their mission - ‘our job is to kick some zombie ass'.

There's even some quality dialogue involving them. Sample this: ‘What do they look like to you?'

‘Robots'

‘What do they look like to you?'

‘Soldiers' - followed by epic music.

This is pure gold and a premise featuring robots and zombies could have been milked very well by the guys from Asylum. It reminds you of Jean Claude Van Damme's Cyborg in terms of its aesthetics and style. Even by Asylum standards, Dolph Lungren is a fun action star, and it's a pity that he has to do roles like these in order to feed himself. Lucky for him, those Expendables movies keep coming every two years and they help him put some money in his bank account.