When reality hits after the reality show

Vicky Jain and Ankita Lokhande

Lock us up with 13 strangers, and chances are we would act out of the ordinary. This becomes especially true when every second is a high-pressure moment with no distraction besides the company of those around you. Which is why contestants on reality shows, Colors' Bigg Boss or JioCinema's Temptation Island, often seem like they are walking on thin ice. Stars, who previously participated in Bigg Boss, are still adjusting to their regular lives and trying to get some semblance of normalcy.

Vicky Jain and Ankita Lokhande

While every year, relationships are formed inside the house, few manage to sustain them outside. This year, Bigg Boss 17 saw television's favourite bahu Ankita Lokhande and her husband Vicky Jain enter the house. During the one-hour telecast, we've witnessed more fights than affection between the couple. So, is this reality or scripted? Dr Kersi Chavda, Psychiatry Consultant at PD Hinduja Hospital and Medical Research Centre, said, "The ability to withstand pressure varies among individuals. Some people exhibit resilience in challenging situations, while others may have genetic predispositions that hinder quick recovery. In our day-to-day lives, the normal stress level may be around three on a scale of one to 10.

When placed in an intense, confined environment and denied the opportunity to step away from the situation, the stress levels are bound to skyrocket to a distressing nine out of 10. It's not surprising then that individuals with vulnerabilities might react more adversely than others." In a press conference that was held inside the house, Lokhande accepted that she is both insecure and possessive, and sometimes her reaction turns a non-issue into an issue. "We've had our disagreements, but neither is our fight scripted nor our patch-up," she said.

Putting relationships to the test
Relationships are fragile, irrespective of the years invested in them. So, why tempt fate and test it on a public platform? Are the fame and money worth the hardship? Temptation Island, which wrapped up in December 2023, had real-life couples testing their love and their partners by co-habiting with strangers. To add to the drama, the makers edited the clips and presented them to their respective partners. While watching, almost every contestant broke down.

Arjun Aneja and Navisha Raj

A prime example is contestant Cheshta Bhagat, who walked out of the show after ending her 11-year relationship with Arjun Aneja. Reflecting on her experience, she said, "I was going through a lot when I took up the show. I am a private person, and I knew that with the show, a lot of my personal relationships would be exposed on camera. After a while, I got into a comfort zone. During the tasks, I formed a connection with Nikhil Mehta [tempter]. We bonded over our similar experiences. While I don't regret the break-up [with Arjun], I feared what my family at home would say about me and how I had [been portrayed]. My mother was okay, and said, ‘What is done is done.'"

After her stint, Bhagat has understood that couples are better off not participating in such shows. She added, "If someone already has a beautiful relationship, they shouldn't be part of such a show. Reality shows have an effect on mental health. After staying in a confined space for six weeks, I am still feeling disoriented. I don't feel like meeting people or talking to anyone. I consulted a few friends who had done Bigg Boss, and they all said that you feel a little disconnected [after returning to your regular life]. So many of them are in therapy. But I also got to be myself and find my peace."

Know yourself, for better or worse
While some feel the disconnect after the show, for Jain, this realisation came a week before the finale - during the press conference, journalists accused him of gaslighting Lokhande and not being a supportive husband. He tried defending himself initially, as he stated, "While we are a couple, the idea was to play the game as individual contestants. I tried not to get involved in her tussles because she is a strong contestant and knows how to stand up for herself. However, I now realise that my tone and language may have been too harsh, which might have hurt her."

Cheshta Bhagat and Nikhil Mehta

When asked if he would consider seeking marriage counselling after the show, Jain got on his knees and apologised to Lokhande for ignoring her. Jain added, "I think my therapy has been done with this session here. When you stay in the house for so long you don't realise your mistakes, and no one tells you either. This is the first time in 100 days that so many people [journalists] have questioned me. Now when I look back, maybe I didn't realise that my words [were affecting] her. It shouldn't have happened. I have proudly stood by Ankita, and she has been my support. I am thankful that I am here only because of her, but maybe I got too lost on this game's journey and lost the feeling of the relationship."

Chavda said that many change their perception of themselves after the show. "It often leads to the unveiling of undiscovered aspects of oneself. This process may reveal unexpected strength. However, you could also discover that you are not as strong as you assumed you were. Coping with these revelations in a person's late 30s and early 40s can be unsettling. While the money may seem appealing, [the toll it takes on] one's relationships, self-esteem, and the perception of the family can be significant, prompting others to question who you've become. But the show is extremely popular, which is why so many are still lining up to be a part of it. Whether it is the best course of action, remains uncertain."

Mannara Chopra and Munawar Faruqui

The big effect
Chavda underlined that such shows take an immense toll on mental health, especially after the contestants have stepped out. "It's not easy to feel normal again, especially if you are predisposed to trauma or PTSD," he highlighted. When we asked Mannara Chopra, who has been subjected to humiliation within the house and trolling on social media, whether she would seek therapy after her Bigg Boss stint, she said, "I will plug in my music and walk in the backlane near my house, spend time with my family and go to the gurdwara. That will be my therapy." Contestant Munawar Faruqui shared that apologising to the ones he has hurt would be his way of therapy. Similarly, Lokhande said, "I want to meet both our parents and apologise to them because our behaviour has hurt them, which was something we never expected. If they feel better and regard us normally, our therapy will conclude there."

Do reality shows affect viewers' mental health?
Yes, absolutely. It gives them a kind of vicarious pleasure to see [this] happening. Occasionally, they can get triggered and become anxious. They can end up becoming obsessive about a person. There have been cases where people have fallen in love [or hate] with somebody because of the way they have been behaving [in the show].

Dr Kersi Chavda

Viewers have to realise that the person is in an artificial environment. Everybody should take whatever is happening with a pinch of salt. There are a lot of things people say and do to get high ratings and [win]; onlookers have to realise that it is not based on actual reality. We've had people getting married on the show and then divorcing within six months. We all get excited when something bad happens to a person who is rich. It gives vicarious pleasure and sometimes caters to the worst part of a person's personality.