International Women’s Day: Mumbaikars on rising above through quitting

International Women's Day celebrates the remarkable contributions and excellence of women in every aspect of society. From science to politics, education to art, women have been at the forefront of progress and change throughout history. Being able to don multiple hats at work, breaking the glass ceiling, and achieving work-life balance is what many conversations on International Women's Day are about, however, what remains unsaid is the power that lies with quitting.

While it may have a negative connotation for all, the burden of saying ‘no' is disproportionate when it comes to women who are expected to be nice and polite whether it is at home or work. It can be challenging, especially if we are afraid of disappointing others or missing out on opportunities, but learning to say ‘no' or quit is an essential skill that can help us establish healthy boundaries and lead a more satisfying life. In a city that salutes hustle, four women from Mumbai share with us the one thing they quit which improved their lives for the better.

I quit saying ‘yes' to everything

Dr Vanshika Gupta Adukia is a pregnancy, childbirth and lactation expert, pelvic floor physiotherapist and founder of Therhappy.

"I have quit saying ‘yes' to everything!" she tells us animatedly. Adukia reveals that one of the most challenging yet conscious changes she has implemented is to stop equating saying ‘yes' with being a good person. Being a medical professional, she would often find herself accommodating requests, and offering her expertise for free. "I've given favours to friends and family, at their behest for freebies, fee concessions, odd hourly consultations, added services beyond what was initially decided only to later realise that most of these individuals go on to undervalue my professional services, medical guidance, and even me as an individual," shares the Worli resident.

The entitlement of those around us does not limit itself to the professional space, which is where the criticality of saying ‘no' exists. "On the personal front too, I've started creating boundaries by shielding myself from those who feel entitled and sap my energy. They could be some of the most important people in my life, but if situations don't yield positivity- they need to be respectfully tackled," says Adukia.

The 31- year-old has moved her focus to the circle of essentialism. She concludes by explaining, "It means to stop trying to do it all so that I can make a higher contribution towards things that matter in my life. I once read a quote: What if saying yes to the right things (instead of everything) created opportunities for magic? I am beginning to see some of that magic too!"

I quit living up to the expectations of others

An integrative nutrition and gut health coach, author of ‘The Gut', and founder of Gut Avatar, and INUEN Nutrition School, Payal Kothari proudly refers to herself as a multipotentialite entrepreneur and homemaker.

"I quit living up to the expectations of others, and it has freed me like a bird," she confesses to us. The nutrition expert explains, "By freeing myself from the burden of external expectations and judgments, I gave myself the mindset to discover and pursue what truly brings me joy and fulfilment. Your life is yours to live, and trust me, you have the power to define your path. It's called being you, and setting your standards and benchmarks unapologetically."

Kothari says it is her wish to inspire people to work towards an equitable world by pushing colleagues and women towards a future where every woman has the opportunity to tap into her full potential. "I celebrate my success and amplify the voices of those who are often marginalised, inspiring us all to create a more inclusive and empowering society. I want women to remember that embracing their uniqueness and prioritising their dreams and desires will allow them to find a deep sense of empowerment and contentment," shares the Lower Parel resident.

I quit being comfortable

Susmita Sarmah, founder and creative director at Cab Experiences

Sarmah believes her willingness to explore unchartered territories is what fuels her life. "I've quit being comfortable a long time ago and I don't think there's a better decision I've made. My eagerness to learn, my make-it-happen mindset and my inner child's curiosity -- they are all the progeny of me quitting being comfortable," elaborates Sarmah.

She further adds, "While people speak about finding success outside their comfort zone, she has found all things fun outside of it. It's where judgments take a backseat, opinions are validated and sometimes absolute confusion is celebrated. It's also where I do my best dance because that's where the background score of my life is playing the loudest."

When asked about the stigma that envelopes the act of quitting a job, or a strategy, the Bandra-resident says she views quitting not as a failure but as a strategic move to take stock and reassess her decisions. "The stigma surrounding quitting has dissipated for me, and I see it as a positive and empowering tool for self-reflection.

Quitting, when guided by self-awareness and a reassessment of one's path, can lead to better opportunities and personal fulfilment. It is about making the right choices for oneself, even if it means departing from a previously chosen path that no longer aligns with one's true potential. The transformation in my perspective on quitting and its impact on my life has been significant. It's no longer about giving up; instead, it's a constructive process of evaluating whether my past choices align with my current life and goals," concludes the 43-year-old.

I let go of the stress induced by the fear of judgment

With a career spanning over 20 years, Swati Gupta is an interior and furniture designer and founder of Bluedot Design.

"Letting go of the stress induced by the fear of judgment and negativity from others is a transformative act of self-liberation," admits Gupta.

Needless to say, women bear the harsher brunt of society's judgment, especially in the way they conduct themselves, be it in the workplace or at home. "People would comment on my way of working, credibility, how I ran my house or how I raised my kid," recounts the 45-year-old. A conscious shift in mindset empowered her to pursue her goals with unwavering determination and enthusiasm. "Without the burden of constant worry about what others might say, I eventually became more authentic, confident, and resilient. I learned to value myself for who I am rather than seeking validation from external sources," poses Gupta.

The Andheri resident speaks of the relief she felt once she quit stressing about everyone else, "When I ceased being preoccupied with people's opinions, a weight lifted off my shoulders, and a newfound sense of freedom embraced me. No longer did I allow myself to be defined by the criticisms or judgments of others. Instead, I focused on my growth, passions, and aspirations.

Moreover, as I stopped internalising negativity from others, my mental and emotional well-being flourished. I cultivated a more positive outlook on life, nurturing a sense of inner peace and contentment. Relationships became more fulfilling as I surrounded myself with supportive individuals who uplifted and encouraged me."

Concluding by making a hearty case for embracing self-acceptance, she says, "Once I let go of the need for external approval, I discovered true happiness and fulfilment. It's a journey marked by self-discovery, growth, and empowerment - a journey I am grateful to have embarked upon."