'How do I fix my sexless marriage?'

I am a 42-year old woman and have been married to a 46-year old man for over a decade. We are happy together and enjoy each other's company. The one thing that saddens me is the lack of sex. My husband lost interest in it a few years ago and we have gradually turned into what almost seems like a platonic relationship. I tried initiating sex a few times but gave up because he wasn't enjoying it. I wish we could be intimate again. We love each other and I want to be with him, but I can't stand the idea of a sexless marriage. What should I do?
This may be more serious than you think it is because a lack of physical intimacy can point to other problems and lead to emotional distancing. Your husband may have lost interest in sex for valid reasons, but not finding out what they are and not making an attempt to rekindle that bond of intimacy is a mistake, specifically because it denies you access to an important part of marriage. if your attempts at fixing this haven't worked, I suggest the two of you reach out to a professional and air this out. Try and find out what the problem is and how you can rekindle that spark. Talk about the future of your relationship and start by acknowledging the disconnect between what you both expect from this. Your problem isn't going to magically go away unless you both put in the work required to fix it.

I feel as if I always struggle to maintain a romantic relationship. I start off being romantic, but it fizzles out after a few months. How do I stop it?
You are probably overthinking things and trying too hard to be something you are not. This can come naturally when you find someone who brings out that sense of romance in you. Don't worry about it.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

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