'The girl I like is just using me...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I like this girl at work. She joined the trading company where I am employed eight months ago. Apart from communicating with each other at work, I speak to her every night. I have confessed my feelings for her. She has started to say that she looks forward to my phone calls and SMSes. I have expressed my love for her, but she does not express her feelings openly. I keep asking her if she likes me or loves me. She says she cannot be too demonstrative as then we will become office gossip. At times she tells me I mean the world to her and wishes that she could spend more time with me. Then at times she does not respond to my SMSes and avoids me. Am I being used by her? I don't want to be hanging around till she decides what she wants. Can I trust this woman? Why is she so non-committal? It's been eight months since we have been talking to each other. I think she is just using me.
- Prithvi


Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Prithvi,
It appears that this woman is not too sure of you. Or perhaps she is shy and of a reserved nature. She may also not be too forthcoming as she needs time to think if you are her Mr Right. Or she may be the types who does not want to make the first move, so she has left it all to you. Whatever her reasons, she needs to tell you. You also need to tell her what is playing on your mind. She does not want to be the subject of office gossip as then more than your work, your affair will be discussed. You, however, appear to be impatient to know what is playing on her mind. Give her time to decipher where she sees herself in the relationship. If she still cannot express her feelings for you, then you are better off finding a woman who does care about you and can be with you.