'Having a baby is taking a toll on our marriage...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I have been married for three years and recently had a baby girl. Ever since I got pregnant, my husband and I kept drifting apart. Now after the baby, he just does not seem to care and has distanced himself from me. The baby is now six months old and I have got back to work. But working and looking after the baby leaves me exhausted. I have no time for anything leave alone myself. He feels I am ignoring him and I am not the same person who I was earlier. I have tried to explain to him to share the responsibilities, but he refuses. All this is leading to frequent squabbles and our marriage is taking a toll. My mother-in-law, who looks after the baby when I am at work, is also making life difficult for me. I have to work due to financial compulsions. How do I better the scenario at home and salvage my marriage?
- Rezeena


Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Rezeena,
As soon as a child is born, things drastically change at home. Babies need a lot of caring and a couple can not give each other as much attention as earlier. This can leave one of the partners feeling lonely. If your husband is feeling distant and neglected, it does not mean that your marriage is over. Your husband is behaving difficult unnecessarily and he needs to see sense. He also needs to take on some responsibilities now that you are also back at work. You need to explain to your husband and in-laws that as a baby needs constant attention, you are left tired with not much time even for yourself. A baby brings joy in the house. These are moments to cherish forever. Connect with your hubby by regaling him with stories about what new things the baby did everyday. Once the baby is a bit older, things will be better, so be patient.