'He's always making fun of me...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
My guy has this peculiar habit of poking fun at me. Whatever I do, he has a problem. He does not like the way I dress, the way I eat and the way I talk. Recently, I enrolled in a gym and he finds it amusing. He has been asking me daily how many inches I have lost. He has been sarcastic and instead of goading me to lose weight and motivate me, he is going on a different tangent. I try hard to please him, but he always takes offence. We have been together for eight years. He says he is afraid to commit, so even though we are in our early 30s, a wedding is not on the horizon for now. I usually do not react to whatever he says, so after a while he has to keep quiet. When we are with friends, he behaves loving and caring, but when we are alone, he shows his true colours. I am fed up of him and his recent behaviour has been obnoxious. He even lands up at the gym to watch me work out and questions the instructor whether I am serious about it. What should I do?
- Sandy

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Sandy,
Why are you still sticking around with a guy who leaves no opportunity to demean you? Why have you been taking all his nonsense all these years? You seem to have developed low self-esteem because of this man. He needs to accept you, the way you are - just the way you have accepted him. He does not ridicule you in front of his pals because they will chide him. He knows that you are submissive and meek, so he can get away by telling you anything. It is time you stopped being the doormat. More importantly, you need to sit down and take a decision. Do you want to be with a man who ridicules you or respects you? The choice is yours. If you want to stick around, stop complaining. But if you want a man who respects you, walk out on him.