'I can't forget him even after so many years...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I was attracted to this guy some years ago. He was employed in a neighbouring office in the same building where I worked. As we were on the same floor, I got to know him through common pals. One day we got talking and we got along like a house on fire. For about six months we were together. Suddenly he stopped talking to me and then changed jobs. Though it has been a while now and I'm trying to get on with my life, I can't forget him still. Actually, it was because of me that he would get irritated. I used to keep telling him that I wanted to be his best buddy. This used to irritate him and he started distancing himself from me and he ultimately changed jobs. He said he loved me, but there was no way I could pursue a relationship with him as he was married. He was my first love. I am still single and I have no clue about him as he just cut off all ties with me. Now it is three years, but I still can't stop thinking about him.
- Janice


Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Janice,
This guy was probably looking for some fun outside marriage. He was indulging in an extra-marital affair. What if his wife and his other family members had found out? You too would be in the line of fire. May be he realised that what he was doing was wrong. He felt it was best to move away from the scene and cut off all ties with you. This perhaps was the reason he changed jobs. He may have found the moral dilemmas overbearing. Now that he has moved on, there is no point pondering over what went wrong between you two. Instead, let the past remain in the past. Over time, you will forget him, for that you too should stop harboring thoughts about him. He knew there was no future with you, so he moved away, but at least he could have told you so that closure could be easier for you.