'I don't like my brother's girlfriend...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
My brother's girlfriend is proving to be a pain for me. I find her irritating and disgusting. I do not know what he sees in her. Often, I get the impression that she has lured him and trapped him. He is blindly in love with her, so he can't see her true self. She is always plotting and scheming as she always wants her way. He plans to get married to her next year. I really can't see myself living in the same house with her. My brother thinks I have a mental block against her. He expects me to make the effort to connect with her. I don't feel like I'm overreacting to the situation. I have told my parents that she is not the right choice, but my brother is adamant. I feel hurt when my brother speaks on her behalf. He says I am being difficult and problematic. It is just that we can't get along. When we are together at family outings, I do not speak a word to her though she tries to be sugary and sweet to all of us. Why can't my brother see the truth?
- Neela

Dear Neela,
You have to understand your brother's position. He cannot take one person's side and make the other person unhappy. He has to do a balancing act, to keep you and your parents happy as well as his girlfriend. This is indeed a tough proposition. Before you go all out for your brother, ask yourself what is irritating you. Are you feeling insecure and jealous in her presence? Is it because she has the attention of your brother? Or perhaps you just do not gel with her. Whatever the reason, you have to go with any open mind. You seem to have a lot of preconceived notions and have already made up your mind that she is someone to be detested. Instead, live and let live. You may not get along with her, so keep your distance, but at the same time learn to be cordial and civil when you meet. By taking up her case, you will only bring discord in the household which will affect your brother as well as your parents.