'I just want to be friends for now...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I am fond of this guy at my work place. He is helpful and kind. Even though we have been working for the last few years at the same place, we did not know each other. Seven months ago, we began talking and were drawn to each other. But I just want to stay friends with him for now. We have been hanging out together after work as well. Though we are both single, we do not know where we are headed. But what is disturbing me is the talk in office about him. According to some of my colleagues, he had landed himself in a mess due to some financial bunglings at his earlier place of work. Can I trust a guy with a past? What should I do as I have fallen for him? At the same time, I ponder about the mess he had created at his earlier office. I do not want my guy to be spoken about in such a way.
- Lalita


Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Lalita,
If you have been hanging out with him for the past few months, what has stopped you from asking the truth? You do not have to believe the gossip that does the office rounds. Next time, when you are out with him, just ask him. What your colleagues are saying is affecting you. What is of concern to you is his character. From his body language, you will be able to gauge whether he is hiding or being honest with you. Tell him this is what people are talking about him, but do not reveal the name of any of your colleagues to him. Just tell him there is this general perception of him. He might not exactly be aware of what people are saying behind your back. At the same time, you have to do it with tact, or he might turn hostile towards the rest at the work place and create more problems for him and you.