'I'm turning paranoid in our relationship...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I'm 32 and my girlfriend is 29. I've been having trouble with holding on to relationships. I've had a couple, but they only last a few months. I've noticed that when I'm with someone I get paranoid and find myself pushing them away. As a consequence, none of my relationships have lasted more than a year. I am suspicious by nature which makes me keep worrying what my girlfriend is up to.
- Uday


Illustration/Amir Bandre

Dear Uday,
It looks like you get into a relationship for the heck of being in a relationship. You know that it is not going to be for keeps, so you keep flitting from one relationship to another. A suspicious mind is always thinking of matters that do not even exist. You are looking for hidden meanings in every thing around you. Your suspicious thinking can evolve into a paranoid personality disorder. You are creating a problem which may not even exist. Instead, just learn to relax and learn to take things one at a time. Worrying excessively is translating into paranoia and will ultimately affect your health. So stop worrying about things which do not exist.

Dear Diana,
The guy I'm seeing is 23, but mature beyond his age. He recently introduced me to his group of friends. One of them sent me a love letter. Should I share with my boyfriend this piece of information before it turns into something serious?
- Harshala

Dear Harshala,
Sooner or later, he will come to know, so it is better you tell your guy. It will be devastating for him to find out from someone else. It will create a divide between him and his pal, but you need to tell him the truth. Your guy has no clue what his pal is up to, so he needs to know his real self. You say your guy is mature, so he will know how to handle it.