'I want to reconnect with my former flame...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I was friendly with this guy almost a decade ago. We got along well - I could talk to him for hours. There was never any shortage of subjects and I always felt time just flew when I was with him. He was not the outgoing type, but in my presence he opened up. He told me that he was at peace whenever he was with me. We never spoke about the future or where we were heading to. We just talked and talked about everything and anything. From the most routine of stuff to national headlines to religious debates. It was as if we were destined to meet and to talk. I used to always feel I would meet this one guy who would be special. It was him. Our friendship, however, lasted barely a year. I wanted him to be my best buddy, perhaps my only buddy, but he wanted more. He wanted a physical relationship. That's when the problem arose. I had to tell him whether I 'liked' him or 'loved' him. In a fit of anger, he stopped talking to me. I let him be and after that we never spoke again. But I still pine for him after all these years.
- Neesha

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Neesha,
You were genuine in your friendship with him, but this guy wanted more. He was only interested in a physical relation which you were not ready for - or perhaps needed more time to commit yourself to him. If he really cared for you and loved you, he would not have dumped you. It is clear that he did not respect your feelings. You had clearly told him what was on your mind, still he was hellbent on doing what he wanted to. You are better off without this guy - you need someone who respects you. As you got so involved with him, you are still pining for him. He did not give you a chance to seek closure as he just walked off. You are better off without this foolish guy. Over time, you will forget him, so stop thinking about him.