'My boyfriend does not like me being friendly with other guys...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I've been in a relationship with this guy for almost a year now. The only problem is he doesn't like me being friendly with other guys. Some are college friends and the others are office colleagues. I have explained to them that they are my buddies. I do not think of them in any other way, but he refuses to understand. My guy and I often fight when I tell him that I am hanging out with my male buddies. We've even come close to breaking up. How do I tell him not to get worried about my friendship with them? What should I do? At the same time when he hangs out with his female pals and colleagues, I do not see red nor do I throw a fit. He is being unfair to me. How do I knock sense in his head and make him understand that a girl can be friends with a guy?
- Shweta


Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Shweta,
Your guy is insecure and narrow-minded. He cannot see you hanging out with your male buddies and having a good time. He sees them as a threat, no wonder he is harbouring unsavoury suspicions about you and them. It is not that you are spending a lot of time with them and ignoring your guy. You will make him angry if you keep talking about it. It is best to discuss it when he is hanging out with his bunch of girlfriends. You can then explain to him that just as you don't get horrified at the thought of him catching up with his girl pals, there is no need for him to do so either. You could suggest that next time he come along with you when you are having an evening out with your guy pals. Perhaps after meeting them, he will get to know them better and put all his apprehensions to rest. If you want to stick around with the guy, you will have to change his thought processes or else go your way if you find him to be insecure and suspicious.