'My girlfriend does not want to live in with me...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I am in love with this girl who stays as a paying guest in Mumbai. She is from Jodhpur. When I asked her to move in with me in, she refused. At the same time she tells me she loves me and cannot wait to be with me. Why this attitude? Why cannot she stay with me? When I ask her the reason, she says she cannot take such a big decision at this moment.
- Piyush


Illustration/ Amit Bandre

Dear Piyush
Your girlfriend is perhaps not too sure about a future with you. She is undecided about the relationship at this stage. This could be the reason she is averse to living in with you. Or perhaps she is worried what the society will think. You need to sit down and talk to her. You cannot pressurise her into doing something she is not comfortable with. You need to take heed of her anxieties and fears.

Dear Diana,
I have a crush on a boy who lives down my road. I am 19 and he is 21. We attend the same college. His sister is my sister's best friend. I know her well, but not him. Often when we drop in at her house, he does not talk to us and is busy on the laptop or watching TV. I can't stop dreaming about him and hanging out with him on dates. How do I get to know him?
- Mandvi

Dear Mandvi,
You have several things common, so it is not a big deal to get to know him. You attend the same college, so next time when you drop in to meet his sister, strike a conversation about college life. It could be about professors, lectures and exams. Also, when he is around ensure that his sister includes him in the conversation. He must be thinking since you are his sister's friend, he should stay away. So instead of living in your fantasy world with him, get to know him in the real world first.