'My girlfriend is getting friendly with her ex...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I'm 29 and my girlfriend is 26. We've been together for about a year now. A close friend of hers informs me that she's getting friendly with her ex. She had called off the relationship and would badmouth him to all. I don't know how to go about it. Is it a sign that she does not want me in her scheme of things? When I asked her, she stated that she had just bumped into him once and just said a hello and moved on.
- Sunil


Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Sunil,
First of all why are you depending upon what her friend is telling you? She might be just filling in your ears and trying to create a rift between you and your girlfriend. Do not go according to hearsay. Has she, of late, started maintaining a distance from you? Is there any change in her behaviour? You need to talk to her about it to put your suspicions to rest. And if she says that she just bumped into him, believe her instead of jumping to conclusions.

Dear Diana,
I like this guy at my work place. The problem is he is engaged, but I still want to pursue him. This girl is of his family's choice; someone he barely knows. I feel he deserves better. I am the one for him and he tells me he loves me, but he can't go against his family's wishes. They are planning his marriage early next year, so I have to set things right for him before it is too late.
- Shriya

Dear Shriya,
If this man really cares for you, he needs to stand up for you. It appears that you are more keen than he is. If he was unhappy about the family's choice of girl, why did he keep mum? You have taken upon the onus of fighting the battle on his behalf. If he is interested in you, he needs to speak to his folks and make them realise what is going on. He needs to draw up a plan of action, not you.