'My guy cried to me about his ex...'

Dear Diana,
My guy, who I have known for the past six months, called to say that his ex flame is threatening him. It came as a huge shock to him as he thought they had amicably gone their ways. He is now distraught and hates himself for even loving her. I know that he has been struggling a lot recently and the girl in question had caused him a lot of pain and suffering - the reason why he had decided to go his way. Along with a common friend, she landed up at his door and picked a fight. They almost came to blows. I know he needs me now, but I do not know how to deal with this. I do not want to come in his way nor do I want to abandon him. He had told me about his ex, but I didn't know that she wants to get back to him with the help of a common friend. How do I help him? He tells me this common pal is making the situation worse by talking to her against him.
- Hemalee

Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Hemalee,
Avoid dragging yourself into their fight. This is between him and his ex. You were not in the picture then, so he needs to keep you out of it. He will have to tackle the issue by himself because it was his decision to call it quits. You can only provide him support, but do not get in their way or you, too, will be at the receiving end. Stay clear from this common pal who is keen on messing up things. At the same time, don't let this episode interfere with your relationship. Work on how to make your relationship better in the future. No matter who is at fault in their case, you can only tell your guy that if need be sincerely apologising and moving towards forgiveness is important to end his previous relationship. That will be the best way out for peace of mind.