'My guy's parents don't like me...'

Dear Diana,
I am 26 and plan to get married to this guy I have known for the last three years. His parents, however, detest me. They are aware that we intend to tie the knot, but they still feel their son will not go against their wishes. His family feels I am not suitable for him. They refuse to explain why. They feel I am not their type - whatever it means. Six months ago, we had planned on a Arya Samaj wedding, but he backed out at the last minute. I then told him we should have a court marriage. He said if he were to marry, he did not want to do anything on the sly. With every passing day, I find his behaviour changing. He is also behaving strange. I think he doesn't love me anymore. What should I do?
- Sancheeti

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Sancheeti,
It appears that this man is not interested in marriage. If he was, he would not dilly-dally about committing to you. He might be in a relationship with you, but is he really serious about you? It seems like he does not want to infuriate his family. His backing out at the last minute is a clear sign that he will bow to his family's wishes at the end. You will be the one nursing a broken heart as his folks will fix his marriage somewhere else. He needs to make it clear if he is willing to go against the wishes of his family. If his behaviour towards you has changed lately, it's a clear sign that things are amiss. You can't trust this man, so be wary and make it clear to him. He needs to tell you where you stand in his list of priorities.