'My husband has lost interest in me...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
We've been married for over a decade. Of late, my husband has stopped being intimate with me. There has been a drastic change in his personality. I suspect that there is someone else on the scene. He tells me there is a lot of pressure at work. I don't know if he is telling the truth. I feel he is seeing someone as he often comes home late.
- Saira


Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Saira,
Stop being insecure and suspicious. If he is having a tough time at work, believe him instead of jumping to conclusions. By being difficult with him, it is only making things worse. Try taking out some time together for stuff that both of you enjoyed together. Allow him to express his concerns and fears. He may be having a tough time at work due to which he has lost interest in other stuff. Give him a patient ear and then tell him your anxieties. It is likely that work delays him and he is stuck in the office till late. It does not mean that he is seeing another woman. So get rid of all such thoughts.

Dear Diana,
I have been living-in with my partner for almost five years. We have even bought a house together. Whenever I broach the topic of marriage he evades it. In the past, he had expressed a desire that we would get married and have kids, but now he even denies making such a statement. He tells me he does not want to get married and we should continue with the live-in arrangement. Sometimes I feel I am wasting my time with him. I have invested a lot of my hard earned money in the house.
- Meeru

Dear Meeru,
You need to take stock of the situation and tell him how you feel. You are now keen on marriage while he is not. You want kids and he does not. You have bought a house together so it is yours too. Decide what you want to do in life and take a decision accordingly.