'My husband is cheating on me...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
My husband told me that he had slept with another woman while we were on our honeymoon. I was taken aback and did not know how to react. After a couple of hours, he said it was a joke. My husband has this habit of making a shocking statement and then saying it was a joke. He thinks he is being funny, but I am fed up of his behaviour. He lies and gets away by saying that he was joking. I really feel he is cheating on me.
- Dinah


Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Dinah,
Your husband is used to this kind of behaviour so it will be difficult for him to stop doing it. He thinks he is being smart and funny, but does not realise that he is irritating. He knows that he can get away with anything under the guise of a joke. Tell him how you feel about his behaviour. If he makes a joke about it, confide in a family member you are comfortable with. Doing it occasionally is okay, but your hubby seems to be taking things too far. Also, as he keeps lying and then saying he was joking, you might be assuming that he is having an affair. It could well be one of the numerous jokes he cracks.

Dear Diana,
I'm 25 and my girlfriend is 23. Things are okay between us except the fact that she is not at all a romantic. She is not forthcoming and has a long list of dos and don'ts. I don't think I am overdemanding. If only she would let herself go than always think twice before doing anything.
- Rishad

Dear Rishad,
Perhaps your girl is not too sure about you. So you need to give her time. She is playing safe as she wants to be sure of your feelings for her. She might be of a shy disposition and needs a while to be comfortable with you. Meanwhile, you can gain her trust by showing that you care for her.