'My live-in girlfriend is giving me mixed signals...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I've been in a live-in relationship for four years. Of late, we have hit a rough patch as my girlfriend is rethinking our relationship. She tells me that she often thinks of a break up. She also feels she deserves better as I am always in and out of jobs. I feel awful when she tells me all this. At other times, she talks about marriage and children. I am fed up of her mixed signals. One day she wants to leave me and the next, she wants to be with me. I feel I should dump her instead. We have been having a lot of arguments about it. I am just waiting for her to do something wrong and I will show her the door. I'm also worried that if we do break up, I'd miss her and would want to have someone around. I am also no longer attracted to her. After four years with the same person, not finding them that attractive is normal, right?
- Anand


Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Anand,
First of all, your live-in girlfriend is mighty confused. She needs to decide if she wants to be with you or not instead of giving you mixed signals. It looks like your girl is going through a 'now I love you, now I don't' phase. It is foolish of her to take you on a royal ride and play with your emotions. After four years of being together, your relationship appears to have hit a plateau. It is time you two sit down and have a frank conversation about what's going on.
At the same time, you cannot be waiting for an opportunity to throw her out of your life. It is not only your girlfriend, but you appear mighty confused as well. Like adults, sort out your differences and resolve the issues. If you decide to stick around, work towards building the relationship instead of cribbing and complaining. If the latter is the case, it is better to go your separate ways.