'Ten years on, I cannot forget him...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
Ten years ago, I had a scene with this guy for about six months. I still cannot forget him. We just drifted apart. We are not in touch, but I remember him every day. I really wish we had not moved on. I keep thinking of him. He was married and so was I, but we were drawn to each other. Why can't I forget him? I wonder if he remembers me? He was my first and only love. He would tell me he would be with me forever. The spark that was there when I was with him is missing being with my husband. After we went our ways, we have bumped into each other twice, but we just ignored each other. Will I ever forget this man? Should I pick up the phone and talk to him once? I do not know how he will react, due to which I have refrained from calling him. How do I get him out of my head?
-- Tarika

Illustration/ Amit Bandre

Dear Tarika,
Ten years is a long time to forget and move on. As he was your first love, you are still not able to forget him. As they say you never forget your first love and how perfect life might have been with the one who got away. Let him remain a memory of the distant past. As you were married, it would have caused an upheaval in your life. What he perhaps avoided doing was seeking a sense of closure. This would have then helped you move on. As you just drifted apart, you still don't know what was the exact cause and what went wrong. There is no point thinking about him now or grieving about what you lost. Do not call him or try to meet him. If he does not reciprocate, it will affect you even more. So let this relationship remain in the past, revisiting it will only cause heartburn. He is also married, so don't mess his life too. Whenever you think of him, tell yourself this man just didn't care, otherwise he would not have walked away.