'Years later, he calls me out of the blue...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I was friendly with this guy several years ago. We were office colleagues till he went his way for better prospects. For about six months, we were friendly and hung out after work. He would sometimes drop me home too. I used to think of him as my best buddy, he said he would be my friend forever, but then somewhere down the line, he felt I was more than just a pal. He wanted to get physical. We were close for a while, till he suddenly decided to stop talking to me. He turned rude and started acting strange. He accused me of being friendly with him only to know if he liked me. But this was not the truth. I always knew from the way he looked at me that he loved me. After he went his way, there was no communication between us. Last week, after so many years, he got in touch with me. I was taken aback to seen his missed call. He later messaged me that he needed a contact's address. I gave it to him and that was the end of the SMS. But I do not why even after all these years, I still get upset and teary-eyed when I think about him.
- Sonam


Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Sonam,
This man used you and dumped you, so why even harbour any sad feelings about this guy? He has made you cry. If he really cared for you and did not want to hurt you, he would have told you the exact reason and said a goodbye before walking away. You did not get a sense of closure from this friendship. You let yourself go for fear of losing him. As you say you were comfortable with him, initially you may have thought of him as a dear friend you probably never had, but it did not take time to cross the line. The next time, just ignore this guy if he asks for help. He has again used you according to his convenience, so just let him be where he is - in your past. Would he have answered your call if you needed help? He would have snubbed you and left you in tears. You have been nice to him, but he has definitely not, so stop caring for him.