I can't stand my sister-in-law...

Dear Diana,
I have been married for a year now. I just can't stand my sister-in-law. She is her mid-30s. Though she is married, she controls the home and no one can say anything to her.

Illustration/Amita Bandre

My husband and my in-laws do exactly as she says. They do not tell her anything because she always gets her way. She loves to dress up and splurge on the latest fads and gadgets. In nature, she is the exact opposite of me. She loves to make a noise about everything she does. Whether it is some household chores or even gifting someone something, the whole world has to know. How can I get past these feelings of hatred for her and not let it affect me? She feels that I do not match up to her. I am also aware that she was not too keen that her brother marry me. As she is constantly on my mind, I keep fretting and fuming about her behaviour. I know that it is not a good thing, but I can't let go these feelings. When she drops in at home, I am forced to talk to her.
- Jalpa

Dear Jalpa
Constant squabbling will get you no where. Learn to co-exist with her. You know she is loved by the family, so no one will give you a patient hearing, not even your hubby. She is your sister-in-law, not buddy. So steer clear of her and be with her only when the situation demands. When you interact with her, don't talk to her any more than necessary. Don't get into discussions. Don't allow yourself to be alone with her. Just live and let live. She is not staying with you, so whenever you meet her be social for that period of time. You don't need to go overboard, just be yourself and do not react to what she says or does.