02 August,2011 06:48 AM IST | | Tunali Mukherjee
Is marriage good for you? Active! compiles past studies on the subject and gets expert opinion to get you the physical and emotional impacts of tying the knot
As it turns out, wedding vows don't mention sticking together "in sickness and in health" for nothing. Experts believe that married life directly affects health, and your choice of life partner could very well save your life.
Good for men's bodies and women's minds
A study published in the Student BMJ found that married men tend to be more physically fit, as their wives ensure they lead a healthy lifestyle, while women's emotional health benefits because they value being in a relationship.
Psychologist Dr Janki Mehta believes that the reason for this could have to do with reduced social pressure. "Marriage makes men and women happier, as the social pressures of finding a companion are put to rest. It also positively impacts the body, and provides men with an emotional support system," she explains.u00a0
Marriage counselor Dr Sanjoy Mukerji adds, "Marriage leads to feelings of elation. Also, Indian wives tend to take care of their husbands well, which is why husbands lead a comfortable life. On the other hand, women are more confident and at peace as they are in a secure relationship."
Marriage makes you live longer
A study by the Office for National Statistics (ONS), called Focus on Family, found that marriage and mortality have a direct link, with married people outliving their single counterparts.
Another study conducted across seven European countries found that married people had mortality rates that were 10 to 15 per cent lower than the rest of the population.
"Our life depends on the 3 F's: Family, Fitness and Finance, and in that particular order. Unfortunately, most of us follow the opposite order, which the root cause of all problems. A good family atmosphere and love ensures better fitness, which ensures the release of happy hormones. People are more motivated to live and work hard to make money and enjoy life. After all, whom is a person earning for? Whom shall he enjoy his achievements and riches with?" says Dr Mukerji. "A loving spouse makes us want to live for them, which automatically lifts spirits, keeps you healthy and increases longevity."
Marriage can make you fat
A study by the University of North Carolina found that married couples were much more likely to be obese and not engage in enough physical activity, relative to those who were just dating.
"Before marriage, people have a lot of time to themselves. They want to stay fit to look good for themselves and their (potential) partners too. After marriage, health takes a backseat and priorities change. There is a lot of socialising, eating out and less physical activity. Besides, a lot of women do not want to cook a separate, healthier meal just for themselves and would rather eat with the family," says nutritionist Eileen Canday.
Dr Canday advises enlisting the support of family when trying to achieve weight loss goals. "Involve your spouse in your weight loss regime too, and it will be easier to keep away from the calories," she suggests.
Happily ever after?
A study found that while married people were healthier than those who didn't marry, divorced or widowed adults fared worse than the never-been-married category on certain health counts.
Researchers stated in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior that 'Widowers and divorcees, on average, face 20 per cent more health complications' in the study that tested more than 9,000 Americans.
Cardiologist Dr Hasmukh Ravat, Fortis Mulund, agrees, saying, "The loss of a spouse can be devastating.
Loneliness and grief causes severe stress on the heart. It isn't unusual to hear of people dying within six months to a year of their spouse's demise. It especially affects those who are old, as their children are busy and the elderly couple are likely to have been extremely dependent on each other."
"Losing a partner is the biggest stressor in the world. Divorce and separation come a close second and third," says Dr Mukerji. "Men tend to suffer more in such cases, as more often than not women win custody or favour of the children and the man is left alone. It is extremely hard for them to cope, which causes more stress and ultimately can lead to a quicker death."
While women suffer the loss of a partner equally, experts believe that they fare a tad better, as they tend to have stronger support systems.
Quality of marriage counts
A study done by a married researcher couple at the Ohio State University College of Medicine concluded that marital discord manifests itself on the body in striking ways, like reduced immunity and more time taken to heal wounds, in effect implying that a good marriage can improve health, and a bad marriage, ruin it.
Dr Janki explains, "Marital stress takes a toll emotionally, physically, and behaviorally. Signs include poor judgement, a general negative outlook, excessive worrying, moodiness, irritability, agitation, feeling lonely, isolated or depressed, eating and sleeping too much or not enough, social withdrawal, procrastination or neglect of responsibilities, increased alcohol, nicotine or drug consumption, and nervous habits such as pacing about and neck pains. In other stresses, there is one root cause, but in marital stress all the factors can overlap and an individual fails to respond adequately to mental, emotional, or physical demands of the relationship."
General Practitioner, Pradip Shah, Fortis Hospitals, agrees. "A good marriage works wonders for the couple. The pair is satisfied, physically and mentally, and can perform well in all spheres of life. Women also reduce their risk of breast cancer, when they have children, and breastfeed. On the other hand, a stressful marriage will reduce immunity, and hence give rise to infections and illness."
Say yes to the knot?
So, can marriage save your life? Dr Mukerji, who has seen an endless number of married couples fight it out remains optimistic. "As clich ufffd as it may sound, love is the best prescription for good health," he says. "75% of illnesses in women and 50% of illnesses in men arise out of an unhappy marriage. Married life can change all spheres of your life for the better. Even living together does not come close to the joys of marriage, as there is no security and is unstable. Marriage fills you with love, self esteem and confidence," he concludes.
3 celebrity marriages we thought would last
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman
Tied the knot: December 24, 1990
Lasted: 11 years
Reason for split: Rumours ranging from differences on how to bring up their children to Kidman being tired of Cruise's controlling habits. The couple, however, kept their reasons private.
The world was taken aback as Kidman and Cruise split after their 11-year marriage. The pair had adopted two children and Kidman was pregnant at the time of the divorce. She later miscarried. In a recent interview to Marie Claire, Kidman says, "Our relationship was great and it ran its course." Both have since moved on, found love again, re-married and had kids.
Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston
Tied the knot: July 29, 2000
Lasted: Five years
Reason for split: Angelina Jolie?
The world cheered as TV superstar Jennifer Aniston tied the knot with Hollywood heartthrob Brad Pitt. And just as Pitt was giving interviews to the glossies about how he doesn't want the Mrs to strip for the screen, he stunned the world with news of his hooking up with current partner, Angelina Jolie.
The divorce was so shocking that it has since divided the world into two camps, 'Team Jolie' and 'Team Aniston'. While 'Team Aniston' T-shirts sold four times faster, Pitt is now father to seven with Jolie, and Aniston is currently dating actor Justin Theroux.
Saif Ali Khan and Amrita Singh
Tied the knot: October 1991
Lasted: Thirteen years
Reason for split: The couple cited mutual differences as a reason to split, but rumours suggest it could be Saif's then-girlfriend, Rosa Catalino.
Saif Ali Khan made headlines when he married Amrita Singh, who is twelve years his senior, against his parents wishes. Together with their two children, they made a picture perfect family, until problems began to creep in when Saif started making news more for his link-ups than his movies. In the end, Saif finalised the divorce with a reported alimony of Rs 2.5 crore and went on to date many women till he finally found love in Kareena Kapoor.
