15 April,2011 07:04 AM IST | | Melissa D'costa and Aviva Dharmaraj
Indian. Male. Single. Adoptive parent. Are you hoping to make that description a reality? Questions you need to ask yourself before you can say, 'I too'
Less than a week ago, filmmaker Karan Johar decided he was ready. To be a daddy. At 39, Johar already has what most of us are taught to spend our lives aspiring for: money, fame, adulation. Shah Rukh Khan as BFF is a bonus. Though, clearly, the spoils of consumerism can never be enough to feed one's soul, which is why K-Jo has decided that it's time to make a special addition to his family through adoption. If you too are looking to go down the single father route, here are the questions you need to ask yourself before you take the plunge.
Where amu00a0I headed?
Financial stability is key to being considered a suitable candidate. If you're between jobs or miserable in your current one and looking for an escape route, it would be unwise to take on an added financial responsibility that could last your lifetime.
Why do I want to adopt?
If age, marital status or general gloom are the only consistent motivations guiding your desire to adopt a child, abandon plan. Now. Raising a child is a huge responsibility and it only gets tougher for a single parent. It's best to go 'whole' into any relationship, instead of looking for someone, in this case a child, to "complete you".
What does the law say?
"Most adoption centres will require you to fill a form stating your intention to adopt a child. You will also be asked for relevant documents to prove your identity and financial stability to find out if can take on the responsibilities of a parent," says Amol V Sutrale, an expert in family law. Amol adds that as per the law in India, while men can adopt a male child, the law swings in favour of women. "While there is no fixed income group that you need to fit into, you have to be in a position to meet your own financial requirements and that of the child you intend to adopt."
Who dou00a0I want to adopt?
Is the gender and nationality of the child important to you? Are you looking to adopt a child with special needs? Do you want to adopt a newborn or slightly older child? Being honest with yourself will give you a better idea about the parent you are likely to grow into.
Expert speak: Problems in adult life?
It's important for girls to have adult males to relate to, and for boys to have adult females to relate to, as we live in a world where both genders co-exist. Adjustment can be difficult for a child who has been brought up by a single parent. The inability to mix with both genders can influence adult choices, especially when choosing a potential partner. Often, the only strong figure in the child's life is the parent, and he/ she uses him or her as a template while choosing a mate. Depending on the relationship shared with the parent, this can have a positive or a negative impact on the relationship.
Unconventional celeb dads
Sandip Soparrkar, choreographer
Hailed as the city's first celeb, single, adoptive father, the talented choreographer adopted a two-and-a-half-year-old son, Arjun, in 2007. Sandip was 33 and unmarried at the time. He has since tied the knot with model-actress Jesse Randhawa.
George Lucas, filmmaker
Post his divorce in 1983 from Academy award-winning film editor Marcia Lou Griffin, George Lucas adopted Katie and Jett. Marcia and he were already parents to Amanda, who they adopted in 1981. His children have all appeared in the Star Wars prequels.
Neil Patrick Harris, actor
On October 12, 2010, the "confident womanizer" from popular sitcom How I Met Your Mother and his partner, actor and chef, David Burtka became proud papas to fraternal twins: Harper Grace, a girl and Gideon Scott, via a surrogate mother.
