A silly little joke on his income made him furious...

Dear Diana,
I am 24. I married my boyfriend 10 months back. Initially, our families were against the match, but later my family agreed though his did not. Now he works abroad and I live with my parents, working to supplement my dad's income so that my two younger brothers can complete their studies.

I know he loves me a lot, but one day, when we were talking over the phone, I joked that I will keep an eye on his expenses as he is a spendthrift and does not think about saving for the future. He got really upset that I am going to check his expenses. He told me I should stay within my limits and it's not my right to ask him how he spends his money, after all he never asks me about my income.

Angry, I told him I will never ask him for money (even though I earn about one-quarter of what he does). I was really hurt, but I am worried about our future. He had taken a loan from my uncle to purchase a house, but for the past seven months he has not paid a single paisa back. I don't know how to make him understand.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Has he called you since that fight? It is rather strange that he took offense to you discussing money with him. You are well within youru00a0 rights to ask him. It is also strange that he doesn't support you in anyway. Do his parents or any relatives know about this wedding?

Has he discussed the future? How long will you continue to live with your parents? Is he doing anything to ensure that you join him in a few months or a year down the line? Also have you considered that he no longer wants to be in touch with you as he has no intention of paying back his loan?

When the loan was given, was it discussed if he would pay monthly or after a certain period of time? Hopefully you have proof that the money was lent to him, then you can take legal recourse, if you so decide, in the future. I hope he is not a conman who has taken the money and fled the country.

The next time you talk to him, just ask him about when he will be able to start paying back. Also have a talk about the future. This situation suits him, but it isn't fair to you at all.u00a0

Bride war of a different kind...

Dear Diana,
My best friend thinks that I am jealous that her marriage got fixed first, while I am yet to find a guy. I've tried explaining to her that I prefer being single than ending up with the wrong guy, but she doesn't listen. How do I convince her?

Lalita

Dear Lalita,
It's not your job to convince her. If she has such a low opinion of you, she doesn't have to be your friend. Just stop all contact with her till she comes to her senses. When she does, and apologises, then forgive her. Then explain that you were hurt that she believed the worst of you.

Paanch saal ke rishte ko kaise tod doon?

Dear Diana,
I am a Brahmin girl from Uttar Pradesh. My parents loved me a lot, till I told them that I am in love with a Muslim boy. They are against the relationship and stopped me from continuing my studies for one year. They just don't understand love. They want to get me married to a doctor or engineer by paying the required dowry. My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. I can't live without him. I don't know what to do. Please tell me.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
If you are sure he is the right guy for you and that you both belong with each other, then don't let anyone ruin it. Marry him. Have a court marriage, if the families don't agree. They will come around some day. And if they don't, well it is your life, and no one else has the right to decide who you should stay with for the rest of your life.

It will be tough at first but as long as you both have each other, it will be great. There is nothing worse than being married to the wrong person. You might want to consider moving to another town after marriage, till matters cool down.