29 January,2010 07:14 AM IST | | Navdeep Kaur Marwah
So, your man bonds with his best pal more than he does with you. FYI tells you how to stop feeling jealous of your man's chuddi buddy
A bromance or man-crush is a close but non-sexual relationship between two (or more) men, a form of homo social intimacy.
Coined in the 1990s, the term has typically referred to a relationship between heterosexuals influenced by the effect of second wave feminism in the United States or related movements elsewhere in the world.
In most cases, bromances are straight friendships with an extra-strong emotional connect.
Just like your lady best friend who's there for just about everything in your life shopping, partying, housewarming, in-law handling and even dressing up together his guy friend is there during his low phases for hugs, pats and financial help. So, fret not.
Of course, look out for signs and trust your instinct. If you sense there's something more brewing between the two, confront him, instead of jumping to conclusions.
Make sure you're always there for him so that he doesn't have to drift to other shores. And remember a man who confides in his guy friend is way better than one who decides to have an affair with another woman!
But why in the world do straightu00a0men seek men?
According to a 2007 study conducted by the Rutgers University National Marriage Project, men are
choosing to marry at an average age of 27, which is up from an average age of 23 in 1960, and men with more education are waiting until their 30s before getting married.
The financial pressure of staying single longer may lead to men hanging out with their pals for extended periods, fuelling the bromance.
When you're the one in a bromance: FYI studies the syndrome
DR Vandana Tara, consultant clinical psychologist, Moolchand Medcity Hospital.
Assess how important the friend is in your life and how much you can trust him. If they are valuable and trustworthy, find out how your partner feels about it. Talk to your partner, explain to him/her what the person means to you, and try to bring them together
When you meet socially, pay more attention to your partner than your friend.
If both the partners have best friends of the same sex, it becomes easier to understand one another. Hook them up, that would be fun
Do special things that prove to your spouse that you are always there for him/her.
Prioritise what is more important for you your friendship or your relationship.
Remember, she married you for life, and deserves to be your closest friend.
If you're the best friend giving his wife the jitters:
Understand that your friend needs to give time to his spouse. Don't expect him to spend as much time as he used to spend with you before marriage. Find other friends and ways to enjoy without him.
Never try to sort out issues between your friend and his spouse and adversely affect their relationship.
Make an effort to be friends with your best friend's spouse so that there is no question of insecurity. Be her best friend too that should solve the problem for good.
If you get negative vibes from your friend's spouse, back off for a bit and keep your distance till you see she's more comfortable with your company. Meet them together.
What if you're playing the poor wife?
Tell your man you are jealous. That is sure to flatter him and let him know he's wanted. He'll start to pay you more attention.
Get wicked. Pay him in the same coin. Hang out more with the girls. Keep busy. He'll come back, begging you for your time.
Dress sexy. Be irresistible, and he'll have nowhere to go!
Have a chat with his guy friend. Tell him to lay off, gently, and explain what you feel. Most likely, he'll understand.
Other Celebrity Bromancers
Ben Affleck and Matt Damon
Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine
Shah rukh Khan and Karan Johar
Rahul Dev and Milind Soman
Balance is the key
Mahie Gill, Actor
The answer lies in how you handle the situation, whether your BFF is from the same or the opposite sex. My friend, film director Sameep Kang, for instance, is married. And I know such friendships can cause a problem. But in our case, everything is fine and we have maintained our friendship throughout. If my spouse/partner has a close friend, I will try my best to understand their friendship and not end it.
Amanpreet Wahi, Model
I think one should maintain a distance from the best friend if the bonding makes your partner uncomfortable. I believe a woman should do all she can to make a marriage work. In my case, my husband Raghav is my best friend and vice-versa.
Isha Koppikhar-Narang, Actor
My best friend is Tejinder Sehgal. I believe that every
relationship is different, defined by various parameters. When I met my husband, Timmy, I made sure he met Tejinder. He has no problem with my friendship with him. Timmy is very secure and comfortable with my friendship. Now the situation is such that if I am going anywhere alone, he insists I take Teji along if he can't make it. That's the way it should be. Friends should feel like family, not foes.
Mehul, Media Manager
I believe that for any relationship to work, trust is indispensable. Insecurity leads to possessiveness, which can be a deterrent to a healthy relationship. But if there is a point where the friendship is hurting your wife and she has a valid reason, try and limit it. Nevertheless, don't lie and meet him, which will only escalate the problem.
