Dard-e-dil, dard-e-jigar, dil mein jagaaya aapne!

Dear Diana,
For the past three years, I have been day dreaming about this girl. I even went through her profile on Orkut and never felt that she was seeing anyone. In July 209, I saw her hugging some other guy. I was shocked, and I think she saw me too and realised how hurt I was.

I was hoping the guy was a relative, but I later saw on her profile that she had accepted some guy who had proposed to her on the site. I later moved to a different cityu00a0-- not because of her, but it was an added benefit and I thought now I could forget her.

But now she is coming in my dreams and every time I dream of her, my feelings for her get more intense. I guess this is natural for someone trying to get over their love. I have not told anyone, not even my closest friends, about this. I wonder, if I get married to someone else in the near future, is it okay to tell her about my suffering in love?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Simply dreaming about her won't let her know how much you love her. You have to tell her that you do. If another guy beat you to it, you can either bow out or fight to stay on in her life. But I wonder... is this girl a friend, an acquaintance or just someone you love to ogle at? Don't kill yourself speculating. Unrequited love is a dangerous thing. The only way to get some closure over this is by telling her that you do love her (or used to, as is the case) and that you had to let her know.

Tell her that you do not care if she says yes but that you had to tell her. The sooner the better. If she says that she's already in a relationship, be pragmatic and quip that it's her loss and that it's a shame that you never told her sooner and that she will never get a chance to know how much you love her. Smile your way through and you will survive this.

How to tell our kids about our autumn romance?

Dear Diana,
I am 60, a widower for the pastu00a0 10 years. I recently met this very attractive 55 year old woman on a holiday. She is a divorcee. We fell in love and want to get married, but don't know how to break this news to our children. Any ideas?

Manish

Dear Manish,
Both your sets of children are grown adults, right? Surely, they will understand that love knows no age. And besides, you have thought this though before deciding to marry her. I think you should tell your respective children first outright. Then introduce your other to them. If they raise objections, tell them that you're informing them and not asking for their permission.

I wanna get naughty past forty!

Dear Diana,
I am 45 and have maintained my physique well but my wife hasn't. I feel very attracted to physically fit ladies and models like the MiD DAY Mate. So far, I have restricted myself to thoughts only, but I feel like giving in to my desires sometimes. Is it normal? Is it okay to follow your passions once and then get over it? How do I get over it? By doing it or suppressing it? I love my wife and we are a very happy family. I am sure that even if I date an escort for the experience, it will not hamper my relationship with my wife in any way.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
When you say "follow your passions", I'm assuming you mean you want to have paid sex or have an extra-marital affair simply for the experience of being in one.u00a0

The truth is if your wife has let herself go (hasn't maintained her former physique) and you're always going to be attracted to physically fit women, one fling will only lead to another and indulging in one passion will only lower the level of guilt you feel about moving to newer pastures. While it is a good thing that you share a loving relationship with your wife, I'm sure she'd never stand for what you're proposing. Think it through.