09 February,2010 10:07 AM IST | | Diana
He's already wed. I knew this and yet, married him!
Dear Diana,
I am a 22-year-old girl. I'm holding down a job and am studying at the same time. Two years ago, I met a married man, a father of a three-year-old. He is nice behaviour-wise and looks wise also. Before meeting me, he was flirty but after meeting me, he gave it up. I teased him about it. We become good friends. He was my boss that time. I left that job and was home for two months.
We kept in touch through phone calls, SMSes and emails. Because of him, I even got a job in a good firm. Over time, we became close and even married. And maybe I was immature at the time. Consider that he is 34 yrs old and truly loves me but as a woman I can't spoil another woman's life for my own happiness. And I do feel jealous when he talks about them. What should I do? I can neither live with him or without him. Help me get out of this rut.
Lavina
Dear Lavina,
You will have to understand that this marriage is unlawful and that no court of law will recognise it. It's not just about your guilt about breaking up his family. I'm sure you don't even exist for them. If you decide to be his mistress for life, you will be willfully pushing yourself into a life that is filled with lost opportunities, regret at not having thought it through. Or I could be wrong.
You have thought it through. And despite knowing that heartbreak will eventually follow, you are ready to go down this road. He is also way older than you are. You do not need to be tied down in a marriage this early in life. If he is your life and you can't live without him, you have to grudgingly put up with the fact that he cannot proclaim to the world that you are his wife.
My past put her off!
Dear Diana,
I chatted with a girl two weeks ago. We shared cell numbers. We like each other but when she come to know that I had a relationship in the past, she doesn't wanna talk to me and isn't even taking my calls nor is she replying to my messages. What can I do?
Aditya
Dear Aditya,
It boils down to the argument: should you be honest about your past with your current significant other? Can you even expect them to understand that your past is IN YOUR PAST? Ideally, you should be able to. She should have told you at the outset that you having a past would be a problem. She can't spring surprises on a whim.
Sex-starved or infatuated?
Dear Diana,
I am 28 and from Orissa. I love an 18-year-old girl and she loves me as well. She is from Noida. We have had sex several times. She has now gone back home. I miss her at nights and am also feeling lonely. I have tried to call her but she can't receive my calls and so she always SMSes me. Does she want to avoid me? Should I forget what we shared and put it down to infatuation?
Jitender
Dear Jitender,
If she's SMSing you, it does mean that she is keeping in touch. Just because you're sex starved doesn't mean she has to leave home when you tell her to. She's home, give her some space. She probably isn't recieving your calls because her parents might not know about you. Wait till she's back. Then have a word with her. I don't think you can call what you shared as infatuation, purely based on this one incident.