Drunken 'truth', he says. Take him at his word?

25 February,2011 08:00 AM IST |   |  Diana

Last week a guy from work who I have liked for a long time bumped into me at a nightclub. He bought me a few drinks and invited me and my friends to come along with him for the rest of the night


Dear Diana,
Last week a guy from work who I have liked for a long time bumped into me at a nightclub. He bought me a few drinks and invited me and my friends to come along with him for the rest of the night. While I am on the phone, he confides in my friend that he liksd me.

Later, he he tells me that he had liked me for ages and was surprised I had not noticed as I was the only person he spoke to at work and so on. As I have been led on by guys before I was a little wary and told him that I liked him too but I would talk to him about it when we were both sober.

A week passes and he does not turn up to work. When he finally came in, he apologised for his drunken behaviour. I asked him if he was sorry about what he said or what he did and he said he was sorry about both. My friends think that I might have made him feel rejected and he is trying to save face. What do you think?

RJ

Dear RJ,
It could be either. I'm inclined to think that the drink gave him the courage to say what he was really thinking, but on the other hand you may have seemed rather more attractive once he'd got his beer goggles on. I don't mean that in any disparaging way so please don't take it as such. I'd say to start this conversation all over again with him, but approach it slightly differently.

Take him to one side and right at the start tell him you've liked him for some time, and you were happy to hear that he liked you (even if he was in a drunken state), but you wanted to double-check that what he said when he was drunk, was what he really meant once he was sober.

I want his friends to like me

Dear Diana,
I've been with this guy foru00a0 8 months. He knows I'm shy. Tomorrow we're going out with his best friend and his girl. I've met them before but haven't talked much. I don't know how to start a conversation. I want them to like me.u00a0

Helena

Dear Helena,
Just be yourself. Don't try too hard. Ask your boyfriend what his friends' interests are. Maybe you can talk about that. Or soemthing you've read, an interesting place you've visited. Talk about your hobbies, and ask them for theirs. try to get to know them, rather than to get them to like you.u00a0

Feel like I'm wasting my life

Dear Diana,

I feel like my life is so boring and inadequate. I've got good friends, but not a circle of friends. Whenever I go out, it will be with, say, one of my girlfriends and her boyfriend. It just seems everyone around me has huge groups of friends, who they hang out with every weekend, and do awesome things. Websites like Facebook don't help as people are constantly posting up photos of all the fun things they do...I'm not a massively outgoing person, I just feel like my life is slipping away and I'm wasting it...
SJ

Dear SJ,
You have to stop comparing yourself to others. Shyness can get in the way of living your life. Life can pass you by if you let it. Don't be afraid to call up your friends to do stuff and don't wait for them to call you. Learn to do stuff that is spontaneous.

The more you do stuff, the better You will feel about yourself and your life.Having said that, I have to ask,u00a0 why do believe that you have to be surrounded by a crowd to enjoy life? Why do you need a massive circle/entourage? You have to understand that some people just aren't wired like that. Besides, your few close friends, mean a whole helluva lot more than 1000 fair weather friends. Some of those quantity types would envy your quality of friends

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