Fallen out of love with wife, fallen in love with friend...

Dear Diana,
I had an arranged marriage. Before the match was finalised, I had pointed out to my father that she had a disability, but when my father questioned her parents about it, they denied it. We got married and we proved the disability after the first son's birth.

I ignored it and four years later, we had our second son. But I feel betrayed by my wife and do not love her. We are incompatible in all matters and don't talk for months. We are complete opposites. Recently, I met an old friend and things just clicked in our second meeting itself.

We are madly in love and are very compatible. I don't want to divorce my current wife (though I am willing to give hefty alimony) as my sweet sons will suffer due to it in the future. But I want to marry my new love. Can I do it without my first wife finding out? Will there be any legal trouble if she does find out? Is there some way out of this mess?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Of course you will be in trouble legally if you get married again. Frankly I think you need to develop some back bone. If you were being lied to by her family, you should have put your foot down and not married her. But you did. Because it suited you at the time, and you didn't want tou00a0 oppose your parents. And you had two kids with her. NOW you realise you are not compatible? Convenient.

Especially now that you've met this old friend and are smitten by her. I don't think you really know what you want. You are easily swayed by people/situations and you don't even have the strength of character to stand by your own opinions and needs. You need to sit down and think hard of what will happen when you tell your first wife (and you HAVE to tell her) about separating. You might lose custody of your children.

Think this through. Don't rush into this, like you did with your marriage, even though you had misgivings. And be prepared to fight it out in court for years. It won't be easy.u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0

Brac(e)ing for a fight...

Dear Diana,
My 12-year-old daughter was advised by the dentist to start wearing braces. She refuses to wear them, as then she can't chew gum. We've had lots of fights over this. How do I convince her to see sense?

Neelima

Dear Neelima,
Show her pictures of adults with crooked teeth and tell her she may grow up tou00a0 look like that. Explain the decision will affect her appearance later. Show her pictures of before and after and the difference it will make. Tell her she can have something else she loves, instead of the gum everyday.u00a0u00a0

Married to one guy, thinking about the other...

Dear Diana,
I was seeing this guy for 4.5 years. He was a decent guy, well-educated, hardworking and good income, who loved me a lot. But due to work pressure, he began ignoring me and though I knew he is really busy, I started doubting his fidelity. I then started dating my ex boyfriend, whom I had split up with 10 years back.

I was attracted to him again and I accepted his proposal and signed the legal documents of marriage. But I know I cannot forget the other guy and want to break this marriage. My husband knows everything about this guy. What do I do?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Do nothing. Forget the past and live and enjoy the present. Perhaps whatever happened, happened for the best. Sometimes, things we leave behind begin to seem more attractive. It's the classic case of the grass looking greener on the other side. No one is asking you to forget the guy or your relationship with him. It can remain a treasured memory forever. Every long relationship does not end in marriage. Which isn't a bad thing.