First he pursues me, now he avoids me, what do I do?

Dear Diana,
I am 23. My manager at work is a 45-year-old married man with a teenaged daughter. Every time we went out together for work purposes, he would touch me inappropriately. I would shout at him, but he would do it again. Once he tried to kiss me and I kicked him.

I told him clearly that he shouldn't do such things and I didn't like it, but he said he and his wife haven't had sex in three years. He pursued me for a year with such behaviour and seeing his perseverance, I fell in love with him. We've not slept together yet, but we've been intimate in other ways.

I allowed him asu00a0 he said he will leave his wife and marry me. When his wife suspected that we were together, he totally denied it. He then went to his hometown with his family, without telling me. He told me he wouldn't do it again, but the other day, he claimed he was going on a business trip and later I found out that he had actually gone to his hometown again with his family.

He hasn't contacted me for the past one week. I texted him, that I know he is with is family. He is a cheat and has spoiled my life, but still, I haven't got a response. I am madly in love with him, but he's avoiding me and I don't know what to do.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
My dear, you have fallen for the oldest trick in the worldu00a0-- a married man telling you that he is not happy with his wife and that he has no sex life. Just know that any man who is saying that is l-y-i-n-g to get you into bed.
u00a0
I am sorry but did you say that you fell in love with him because of his perseverance? A man will chase a piece of tail to the end of the world. That does not mean he is in love with you or is going to get married to you. Take my word for it, this man will never leave his wife.

You are wasting your time with this man. Your life isn't "spoiled." So you made a mistake and you can correct it. Get on with your life. Forget him, in stead of asking for advice on "how to get him back."u00a0

Frustrated, with low self-esteem...

Dear Diana,
I plan many things but leave them unfinished. I am always insecure about my finances and job although I have just joined a new job. I have frequent mood swings. I am frustrated and have low self-esteem. Please tell me what to do.

Vikram

Dear Vikram,
For mood swings, practise breathing exercises. Count to 100 before reacting to anything or anyone. About financial insecurity, save 30 per cent of your salary. Consult an investment advisor. For self-esteem issues, make a list of everything that you are proud of. Read it to yourself everyday.u00a0u00a0

She doesn't want to do it that way anymore...

Dear Diana,
I am 28 and my girlfriend is 34 years old. She is rich and we've been in a relationship for the past four years. We've had sex many times, especially oral sex as we both love it. However, for the past few days, she claims she is no longer interested in getting intimate that way. This irritates me. How do I convince her to change her mind?

Amit

Dear Amit,
Perhaps she is bored and needs something different. How about exploring some other areas and trying new positions? She is the only one who can tell you why she isn't interested in oral sex anymore. Perhaps she has an embarrassing medical problem. Or maybe the problem isn't in the bedroom at all.

A couple who cannot talk about sex, cannot have a great sex life. If there is a problem, discuss and find a solution. Your irritation isn't helping the situation, so just ask her, "what's wrong, love?"u00a0