For 12 years, I've waited for my husband to touch me...

Dear Diana,
I had an arranged marriage 12 years ago. My husband just does not want to touch me. He took six months to consummate our marriage, saying that he did not want children at that point of time. We've had sex very few times, but it did produce two children.

I craved his love so much that I got depressed and put on weight. He would always make excuses to not touch meu00a0-- I have bad breath (which I don't), I am fat, I have grey hair, I looked tired and did not dress well. I am a software engineer and it was tough to go to work and take care of two kids without any help from him.

So yes, I did look tired, but I am not all that bad looking. My husband is bald and he's not even a good lover, but I never criticised him for it. I took his comments sportingly, lost weight and started dressing sytlishly and tried to fix everythng he said he did not like, but he never noticed.

He doesn't even like to share cutlery with me or his children. I know he's not gay as I caught him watching heterosexual porn on the computer. I crave his love, want to feel adored and cherished. Am I wrong? I've thought of divorce, but I don't want to hurt my children.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
As long as you can support your children, and they are taken good care of, and have access to their father, how would divorce be cruel to them? You have grounds for divorce as this is emotional abuse. Your husband has behaved very badly with you.

It's really amazing that you still find love for him in your heart. Perhaps you are just too nice. Try being nice to yourself for a change. You seem to have devoted everything to please him. Please yourself for a change. Do what you have always wanted to dou00a0-- take a vacation, pursue a hobby.

Divert the attention that you are reserving for your husband to some place else. Let him earn you attention. Become selfish. Stop putting him first and see how he stops taking you for granted. And please point out his paunch and bald pate and sigh at the handsome actor on TV, or a neighbout (if you dare).

That ought to give him a reality check. Don't be available to him. Make your own life, and do activities you enjoy. Having the body you want, dressing well etc must've done wonders for your self-esteem. Continue to do stuff like that.

Hell, if he won't keep you happy, make yourself happy. Do what it takes and if that means finding love elsewhere, then so be it. You live only once. Live life to the hilt.u00a0u00a0u00a0

Stuck between friends and parents...

Dear Diana,
I am 16 years old. All my friends have the latest mobile phone, except me. My parents are not allowing me to buy one as they feel it is too expensive at Rs 20,000. My friends taunt me for not having it. How do I convince my parents?

Tony

Dear Tony,
The sooner you learn this lesson the better. Don't look at the guy who has a fancier phone and feel bad. Look at a guy who cannot afford a phone and be grateful. If your friends tease you, tease them about your better grades, or whatever else you are good at. Buy only what you can afford.u00a0

How do I give my wife an orgasm to remember?

Women need foreplay. It puts her in a relaxed mood. Don't be afraid to ask what pleasures her. The sex starts long before you get into the bed. Create atmosphere.

Bring her flowers, play her favourite music, get her a glass of wine, and light candles. Begin by touching her entire body with feather-light touches of your fingers and mouth.

When she is ready, don't jump right in. Move in slowly, building up her excitment. When she's building towards orgasm, move in further. The longer you tease her, and yourself, the more intense your orgasms will be.u00a0