How can I get myself to study in this mess?

Dear Diana,
I will be appearing for a board exam early next year. This is a crucial year for me asu00a0 I also have to appear for various entrance exams for professional courses. But my folks at home just don't seem to get the point. Several relatives keep dropping in and staying for weeks. This is a great source of disturbance to me. My parents say they can do nothing as it will offend the relatives. How do I tell my grandparents the importance of this year for me and to go slow on the never-ending guests at home? They have nothing to do, so it is okay for them. But what about me? How can I study in this mess?
-u00a0Chris Leo


Illustration/Satish Acharya

Dear Chris Leo,
My child, I understand how important it is for you but at the same time you can't tell the rest of your folks to shut themselves off. You are appearing for the exams, not them. You can explain to them your predicament. A middle path needs to be taken. Like when exams and tests are round the corner, they need to ensure there are no guests at home. On other times, there has to be a room at your disposal where you can study undisturbed. You can also tell them not to talk loudly or to invite others to meet the guests. All this can be done outside the home. Most important, do not let all this affect you. It is better that you devote all your energies to your studies instead.

Can I overcome fear of childbirth?

Dear Diana,
We have been married for three years and my husband thinks it's time we think of having a child. But I have a fear about childbirth. I think I will die! As a result I am refusing to stop using contraception as I do not want to get pregnant. How dou00a0 I tackle this problem?
-u00a0BP

Dear BP,
There are many women who think like that but there is no truth in it. Think of those women who have a brood, they survive even after having many children! You need to grow up. Your fears can be dispelled by a doctor. Nowadays there are so many minimum pain childbirth techniques. But remember the adage no pain, no gain. Once you see the baby, you will realise that the pain was worth it.

I despise my father

Dear Diana,
My father has dumped my mother for another woman. I have deep resentment towards him after what he has done. Though he supports us and calls me often and even meets me, I now hate him. I can't stand his sight and want to tell him not to be in touch with us. Should I take this drastic step?
-u00a0Sandhali

Dear Sandhali,
Cutting off relations is a severe step and is not advisable. But you can voice what you feel about him. If he does feel he's treated your mother badly, I'm sure he'll have no problem in trying to make it up to you. Over time, both his and your feelings may change as time heals all wounds. Remember he is your father and who knows, he may regret his action later. Also, he is still concerned about you both and is even supporting you. So it is better to be cordial.