How to share wildest sexual fantasies with your partner

3. Am I in the right kind of relationship for sharing?

Not every relationship can weather such intimate sharing. You need to be in a secure, trusting relationship. Your sexual union should be able to provide you with the support and safety needed to get over any nervousness and anxiety, and to field any reactions. Lovers need to make each other feel accepted and emotionally safe. This includes being able to refuse a request to act out a fantasy without putting the other down.

4. Can my partner handle my fantasies?

Some lovers can't handle hearing about certain sex acts, especially if they involve "who" you''re fantasizing about. Partners who are sex negative or uncomfortable with sexual intimacy in general are not going to be the best candidates for such sharing. So consider what your lover may be open to and which types of fantasies may cause more harm than good.

5. Am I ready to hear my partner's fantasies?

Lovers tend to expect reciprocity when sharing fantasies. It's usually not a one-way street, so you have to consider how you might react to your partner's fantasies. Can you go there? How can you provide the same safety you're hoping for?

After the self-questioning comes the sharing part, so think long and hard about when to open up. And don't expose a fantasy after a hot romp, for it may not be received as well as one meant to arouse desire.

Let your partner know that you want to share something and explain your reasons for wanting to share.

Finally, remind your lover that your relationship means more than any fantasy. Your partner should not feel undesirable at all.

Previous