I am 22 but fancy men in their 40s

Dear Diana,
I am 22 and cannot imagine myself with guys in my age group. Whenever I have a fantasy or anything about making out, I always see myself with an older guyu00a0- someone in their 40s! My family and friends think that I have lost it and my folks have told me that I cannot even think of marrying a 40 something. They can't have an uncle as a son-in-law! To be honest, I find guys in my age group pathetic and immature. Why am I into much older men. Is it a father fixation?
-u00a0Name withheld on request


Illustration/Satish Acharya

Dear Friend,
It is some kind of father fixation as the general perception is that older men are more mature and experienced. Also, the older guys are well established. Women since ages have chosen older men for financial care and security. In the West, such marriages are rampant. Here, too there are several women who find the age lines on a man's face extremely attractive. Unlike guys of your age, the older men also know how to charm women. Remember they are more experienced in all fields.u00a0 But be very sure who you befriend as some men may be just looking for fun. Tread this path with utmost caution.

What does my girlfriend's profile mean?

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend and I currently live in different cities. Recently she has commented on her Facebook profile that she is looking for friendship. What does she mean?
- Rohan

Dear Rohan,
Good heavens... it only means that she's just looking for friends. Nothing to be alarmed about. Till her statusu00a0 "In a relationship" does not change... you need not worry unnecessarily.

My widowed sister has no time to grieve

Dear Diana,
My sister lost her husband last month. She is 34. Her hubby was 35 and died suddenly due to a heart attack. They have no children. A few days ago, she came to stay with us and her in-laws have said that she can stay on with us. Before marriage, she used to teach. We are just letting her be as she is in bad shape. But what is irking me is the attitude of some of my folks. They are already thinking of her remarriage! How can they even say so without giving my sister the time to grieve.
-u00a0Anji

Dear Anji,
I can understand how you feel about your sister. What has happened to her is extremely tragic and am really sorry to hear it. You do need to give her time to grieve. Time heals everything though it may take an extremely long time. At the same time you need to help her overcome her brooding state as the faster she gets back to normal life, it will be easier for her. There is no need to talk about her loss. What your relatives are saying about remarriage is because they feel she has her whole life ahead and that she deserves a second chance in life. As long as you and your parents are making her comfortable, there is no need to pay heed to this talk.