10 August,2011 08:26 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
I am on the verge of a divorce. In the next few days it will be a finalised as the court has fixed a date. Now as the day is coming close, I am full of anxiety and nervousness. I wonder if I did the right thing and what the future holds for me. It is an amicable separation still I am feeling a sense of despondency. We have no kids. We decided to go our separate ways two years after our marriage, when we realised that we were not made for each other. It is as if i could never fit into his family. As they say some things are never made to be. Will I ever find love again?
-u00a0Name withheld on request
Illustration/Satish Acharya
Dear Friend,
I understand your state of mind at the present juncture of your life. This is the feeling that will engulf you now but over time you will be at ease. You have had your reasons for the divorce and I am sure at an earlier stage you must have tried to resolve it. But after a while there is no point sticking on to a relationship where every day is a dead end. At this stage you should not have any second thoughts. Though difficult due to the emotional upheaval in your life, you have to remain calm and composed. It is better to remain cordial with your ex, as both of you have done it by mutual consent. For a while now, just let be, take time to heal and be self-indulgent. I am sure you will find someone else but don't be in a hurry. A relationship on the rebound may prove disastrous, so for now enjoy your singlehood again.
Is this the beginning of my love story?
Dear Diana,
I know this girl in college, but I am not sure whether I love her. She looks exactly like my dream girl though! She does smile at me and our conversation is presently limited to hi and bye. Is this the beginning of my love story? I am 18.
-u00a0Romeo
Dear Romeo,
At your age such things happen. Whether you want it to be the beginning of your love story is up to. What is stopping you from taking the conversation beyond a hi and bye. What about talking about college activities, professors and attendance? Also, at the same time keep your eyes open to check whether she has a guy she fancies. Tread with care.
The spark has gone missing in our relationship
Dear Diana,
I have a boyfriend with whom I have beenu00a0 with for four years. Everything was fine till seven months ago. After that we started having arguments over small issues. Once after au00a0 major tiff, we broke off. Now three months later, we have patched up. But I feel he is not at all interested in me. We have got back together but things are not the same anymore. Was it better off severing all ties with him? We are both 27 years old.
-u00a0Ginny
Dear Ginny,
Good heavens, you two are not teenyboppers to squabble and make-up and then fight yet again. Both of you are 27 and it is high time you make up your minds like mature adults. It's obvious that the spark has gone out from your relationship. It is likely that things will never be the same again. After being together for four years, what is the reason for these differences now? You both need to sit down and have a frank chat about what is causing the friction. Iron out the differences, but if there is no solution to it, you two are better off going your separate ways.
