I have lost interest in life after my divorce

Dear Diana,
I got married as soon as I graduated. My family felt the proposal was great and so was the guy so they wanted me to tie the knot even before I could think of taking up a job. But marriage proved to be a disaster as we just could not get along. We were of different temperament and I could not fit into the scheme of things in his family. Within six months, we got divorced. It has been over a year now butu00a0 I still feel miserable. I keep wondering why I agreed to the match and why my parents thought he was the perfect for me. I know that people look at me differently as I am a divorcee. I hate myself! I have lost interest in everything. I am 22.u00a0
- Name withheld on request


Illustration/Satish Acharya

Dear Friend,
You are only 22 and have your whole life ahead. Youru00a0 marriage was a mistake and all the parties concerned have realised it. So why are you feeling so miserable? What has happened has happened. You cannot change the past but make the most of the present and look forward to the future. Time heals all pain. It has just been a year since your divorce, so it will take a while for you to overcome it. But I am sure over time you will. Instead of brooding about your fate, it is better that you enroll yourself for a postgraduate course or in any other field of interest. Keeping yourself occupied is the key to forget what has happened. Don't look back, look ahead and you will be happier. Take up a job later, I am sure you will find someone else but there is no hurry. Go forth with an open mind. And try to be cheerful. I am sure your friends can help.

How do I behave with an ex?

Dear Diana,
A few months ago, I broke up with myu00a0 boyfriend. Often I bump into him as we attend a class located in the same complex. I feel very awkward and really don't know how to react when I see him. How should I behave?
-u00a0VK

Dear VK,
As they say be civil when you come face-to-face with him. Just a smile or a hello is sufficient. There is no need for a conversation and I am sure he is also not in a mood. When it is possible to avoid him in a crowd, do so. Doing something stupid like making a face or creating a scene or crying when face-to-face is a definite no.

I can't read her mind

Dear Diana,
I am a 40-year-old divorcee and trying to begin life anew. There is a woman I know in the neighbourhood who I get alongwith very well. She is in her 30s and is single. We have been out together a few times but I can't read her mind. At one time she will be extremely caring but other times she ignores me and does not even take my phone calls. I am confused as to what signal is she sending me. I am interested in her and would love to marry her.u00a0
- TW

Dear TW,
Either the woman is a confused soul or she is trying to be cautious. I suggest you go slow and not rush with your marriage plans. May be she needs time to think about it. It looks like you have not had a honest talk with her and are assuming that she, too, wants to marry you. Next time you are out with her, ask her what is going on in her mind. Put her at ease; may be there is something troubling her and she may reveal what is bothering her. Be the patient listener. Depending on how she reacts then think of taking your relationship to the next level. I am sure she has certain fears and apprehensions which you need to put to rest.