05 May,2011 08:28 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
We've been dating a year now, but I still believe my boyfriend is cheating on me. Six months ago, I happened to see a message on his phone. It was addressed to a colleague with explicit messages. I confronted him. He begged and pleaded, so I gave him another chance. Two months ago, it was the same story and this time with his best friend's ex. He says he's sorry again and every time it seems sincere, so I cave in. I love him and I know deep down, I know he loves me. But I know how bad it sounds, and how stupid I look for giving him more chances. Should I just break it off before I get cheated on again?
Dear Friend,
The begging and pleading will continue for asu00a0 long as he feels he has something to gain from being with you. He's always going to be sorry about what he did; there's going to excuses, apologies and what not. He's going to seem 'sincere' every single time and you're going to fall for his charms every single time. SImply stop giving him chances and his true face will emerge. You've answered the question yourself: break off before you get cheated again. Once a compulsive cheater, always a compulsive cheater.
I can't get it up!
Dear Diana,
I used to masturbate when I was 16. I'm 23 now and due to get married this December. Trouble is I can't seem to get an erection even when I am in bed with my fianc ufffde. This worries me. Will I have a normal married life or not?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Erectile dysfunction is a fairly common problem among men and it would work to your advantage if you visited a specialist in this matter to arrive at the source of the problem before you seek remedies for it. Do the tests recommended by your doctor and a clearer picture will emerge. Better now than never, anyway!
Start visiting massage parlours, escorts again?
Dear Diana,
I'm 29 and in a long-distance relationship with a girl for four months now. We only meet four times a month. However, we do chat daily through instant messengers. We know we really are in love. When I was single, I used to visit these shady massage parlours and occasionally, prostitutes. I've stopped that since meeting her. I do feel the urge off and on to frequent these places again. Would it be wrong on my part if I do? Because I do feel lonely and insecure sometimes...
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Loneliness and insecurity aren't excuses you can hide behind. Promiscuous behaviour has a nasty habit of striking without warning. By your admission, these places are shady. Why go there at all? When there, do you practise safe sex? If not, you could be putting your girlfriend at risk. Ideally, you will have to chart out a schedule where the two of you can meet more often. Or get into some sort of commitment ufffd an engagement, perhaps? When those urges crop up, it's best that you ignore them.