I overheard my guy having sex with another woman

Dear Diana,
The doctor I've been seeing went to volunteer at a relief camp. Once there,he never called. I waited a long time for his e-mails. Finally, the other night, I decided to call him and see how he was doing. I got a rude shock.

I don't know whether he pressed a button on his phone accidentally or how it happened, but I could hear him and another woman having sex very loudly. It was horrifying and hurtful. I know we're merely seeing each other and were not in a committed relationship yet, but I feel possessive of him. He's coming home soon and we'll be working together on a fundraiser. Should I take this as a sign to leave him before I get into more trouble ?

Anjali

Dear Anjali,
Ok, let's analyse this. He went away and didn't call you. Which could mean, either he was too busy to call, or he was out of range or far from a landline. You mention you have been seeing him. How long? Have you both spoken about keeping it exclusive?

Or were you just dating? If, like you say, you are not in a committed relationship, then I can't blame him for being with another girl. Perhaps in your head you are in a relationship, while he believes that you are a 'friend with benefits' or someone he is 'trying-on.'

The status of your association would define whether he is really cheating on you. Now for the telephone call. Did you get the right number? Did you actually hear his voice and not just sex noises, because they all sound the same. Because it could be anyone else, with his phone lying around. Is it possible that the television was on, maybe he was watching porn?

Think back, because you don't want to confront him, and feel foolish later. When he returns, have the relationship chat. Ask him how he feels about you and if he thinks you both have a future together. Depending on what he says, you can decide if you want to stick around or move on.

She dumped me when I wanted sex...

Dear Diana,
I am 21 and my girlfriend is 17. We've been in love for almost eight months. I trust her but she doesn't trust me or give me space because most of my friends are girls and I crack jokes with them. Once I asked her for sex. She refused and immediately broke up with me. Now she has a new boyfriend and is not talking to me.I can't live without her. I still love her and can't think of anyone else. Was it my fault? What should I do?

VG

Dear Friend,
You can't expect maturity from a 17-year-old girl, whose definition of relationship comes from books, television and films. So naturally she was jealous. You were already on shaky ground, then you made it worse byu00a0 asking for sex. She is underage and you could've landed in jail for having sex with her. She seems to be happy with someone else now. Seems to be no point in pursuing her if she doesn't even want to talk to you. Leave her alone. Anyway teenage romances never last. Find someone of your own age.

His family doesn't want us to get married

Dear Diana,
I am 23 and my boyfriend is 28.We are in a serious relationship for the past five years. We want to get married. My family is for the match, but his family isn't. We both don't want court marriage as my parents don't have any problem and I don't want to hurt them. His parents are adamant that if he marries me, he has to leave the house. We don't want to stay apart from his parents after marriage as he is the only son. I am trying my best to impress my in-laws and even he is trying to convince them, but nothing is working. What do we do?
Neelam

Dear Neelam,
If his parents haven't come around, despite all your efforts, it just means they are being stubborn and aren't going to budge anytime soon. Indian parents are known to blackmail their children in this manner. Get married. You cannot put your life on hold. Hopefully, they will come around once the wedding. If not, you know that you tried your best to convince them.u00a0

It's noble of your guy to consider that he is the only son, but the parents should understand that as well. Why can't they find happiness in their child's happiness? After all, he has to live with his wife all his life, so she should be someone he loves. Not someone they select and like. You've waited long enough. Get married now and worry later.