I wanna get over girl whose folks turned me down...

Dear Diana,
I hail from Northern India and I am in love with a girl from Karnataka who works in my office. We met five years ago and initially, I did not like her. But soon we became friends and as the years passed, she would come to my house often. She would casually sleep on my lap and I didn't think much of it, just regarding her as a friend. She used to tell me about the guy she loved, who was of the same caste as her.

But he didn't care for her much and she used to call him daily but many times he would not even answer the phone. One day she was frustrated with his behaviour and was crying to me, and I asked her if she would marry me. She said she will, if our parents agree.

But our parents did not as we were from different castes. We ended things there. She spoke to the other guy's parents and they agreed to the match. But I can't forget her and think of her everyday. She has limited her calls to me. Please tell me how to get over her.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Think about it. She loves the other guy and initially wanted to marry him. Now she's getting what she wants. The guy she likes couldn't care less, from the sound of it. The way I see it, you have been there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on.

The feelings of friendship developed into something more but will not get familial sanction. You kept your distance after the spurning. That was the smart thing to do. I can understand that you miss her, but you have to know that to get over her, you have to even stop receiving those limited calls she makes to you. Slowly but surely, she will stop altogether.

Is it wrong to kiss before marriage?

Dear Diana,
Hi, my fianc ufffd and I went to watch a movie and we kissed. But later, I felt guilty of doing this before marriage. (It's an arranged marriage and we met through a matrimonial site). My fianc ufffd says it's okay for couples to kiss and hold hands. But is he right?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
I guess when you're in the engagement phase, it's best to play it safe and only go as as far as you're comfortable with. The ground rules simply are: don't do anything you'd regret later. As far as arranged marriages go, a lot can fall apart at the last moment. Kisses are okay as long as you enjoy them.

Missing the link...

Dear Diana,
I am 22. I have not had any relationship with any girl. I have very few female friends and since I am studying via distance education, I spend most of my time at home. Recently, I was turned down by a few girls because they already were in a relationship, while some said they don't know me well. There is this girl whom I met through a common friend three years ago and after that I have not had a word with her. After so many failed attempts, I am scared to approach her and have no idea how to either as the common friend is not around. I feel very depressed.

Raj

Dear Raj,
Well, here's the thing. Unless you go out and meet girls, you will never be in a relationship. That said, remember that not being in a relationship isn't the end of the world. Just because you don't have a girlfriend doesn't make you any less than the other guys. Also, you don't need a common friend to introduce you. Remember that failures are stepping stones to success.

Just because you keep getting refused, doesn't mean you ought to stop trying. Approach this girl, preferably without the help of this friend, re-introduce yourself. Ask her if she'd like to go out with you and give you a chance to get to know her better. Be cool, be calm and above all, remember that her saying no, doesn't mean you have to stop trying.u00a0