12 November,2010 08:13 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
My boyfriend are I have been carrying on for the past five years. We are very serious but he is a Muslim and I am a Hindu. So he says it is not possible for us to marry. But I desperately want to marry him. I even discussed it with him, but he only broke up with me, insisting marriage is not possible. Both our parents are against this relationship too.
But I want to marry him. He is my love and I want to spend my entire life with him. He too feels the same, but he is very scared and does not want to hurt his parents. He decided to leave me rather than leave his parents. I am very confused.
Pooja
Dear Pooja,
To me, it's very simple. You are in love with someone, you spend your life with that person. I don't understand this: "I am in love with you and will be in a relationship with you, but cannot marry you because of my parents." That is just bullshit.
I am sure his parents don't approve of a relationship with you either, but that didn't stop him for being with you for half a decade. But when it comes to making a commitment, he hides behind his parents. Either your man is a coward, or just using his parents as an excuse and never wanted to marry you.
If he is a coward, then there is no chance of him, going against his parents' "wishes" and there can never be a future with him. What kind of a man breaks up with a girl, when she brings up marriage? He doesn't respect you and he will never marry you. There is nothing you can say or do to convince him. End this relationship now. And move on with your life.u00a0
Does he want to be more than friends?
Dear Diana,
We are colleagues. I'm quite open about my liking for him. He takes the initiative to chat online and even replies to all my SMSes. He offers to drive me back from work, even though my house is nowhere on his way. He's subtly flirty in conversations. What should I think? Is he responding to my liking? Or is he being 'Just Friends'? I'm not treating him only as a friend or colleague...
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Some guys are natural born flirts, and will flirt with any PYT. So, I wouldn't read anything into that, or him initiating chats.u00a0 Colleagues often offer each other rides home, even if it is a little out of their way. There is nothing here to suggest that he 'likes' you. Ifu00a0 he constantly called you or wanted to meet you outside work, or found reasons to be by your side all day at work, then it would point to something. Right now it seems like you are doing the pursuing.u00a0u00a0
Should I leave my parents for a married man?
Dear Diana,
I am a 25 year old college girl and am in love with a 38 year old man. He is married and has two kids. I can't live without him and he too loves me a lot. He is ready to leave his family for me. He rented an apartment for me. I have planned to leave my home soon and be with him, but my parents love me very much and I don't want to hurt them. I wonder if my decision is the right one or not. He says he will do anything for me. We've already got physical and he is ready to stay with me. Am I doing the correct thing?
SM
Dear Friend,
If you are wondering if this is the right thing, then a part of you isn't completely at ease with this. Whenever there is doubt, stop and rethink. I wouldn't advice you to move in a rented apartment with a married man. He can move out anytime and get back with his family.
It's not like he has signed divorce papers, or has put a down payment on a house. Unless you are hundred per cent sure of what you are getting into, don't take a major decision. His divorce can take years. Are you ready to wait for that long?u00a0 How long have you known him? Can you trust him? Are you comfortable breaking up a home with children? THINK.
