Love two guys at the same time, how do I choose?

Dear Diana,
Can I love two people at the same time without intention of hurting or cheating either of them? There was this guy X whom I loved but then he got another girlfriend and I moved on.

After that, I met another guy Y with whom I was in a relationship for three years, but by the end of the second year, we started having huge fights and I broke off, giving him space to change but he didn't. He loves me a lot and so I patched up, but I am not crazy about him today.

I love him for some points (like he is cute) but when it comes to other points like understanding, I just hate him. Now X is back in my life. I love him like crazy and he even knows his responsibilities which Y doesn't.

X also loves me, but we are not in a proper relationship, because we both know there is no future in our relationship. Now both of them don't like when I talk to the other guy.

All of us are in the same college. Y's family is rich so I know my future would be secure, but it is X I love the most. I don't want to lose both of them and be left alone.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Doesn't look like you have a future with one of these guys. You say you love X because he is "cute" and Y because he is "rich." That isn't what you should be looking for in a guy or a relationship. Why X is wrong: He cheated on you. And you say that you are both aware that there is no future together.

So that's a clear no. Why Y is wrong: You and he are not compatible and therefore you will always argue and fight. Also, you say you are not crazy about him.

He just seems like a safe bet. Not enough to want to spend the rest of your life with. I think it is better to be alone than to be tied down to the wrong guy. What's the rush to "be with someone" and "plan for the future"? you can't make it happen. It will happen when the time is right.

Worried about giving bad news to my parents...

Dear Diana,
My parents had big dreams that I will go abroad and study, but my college application was rejected. How do I break the bad news to them with the least impact?

Neeraj

Dear Neeraj,
Your parents are better equipped to handle bad news than you are. But just in case, break the news to them gently. Then sit together and figure out where to go from here. Apply to other colleges or findu00a0 options in India. Look for solutions, don't fret about the problem.

I am competing with my best friend...

Dear Diana,
I really do love my best friend a lot. Yet, I get jealous of her for the smallest things. Recently I started playing this word game on my mobile phone. I had mastered the first few levels before the subject came up one day and I introduced her to the game.

In lesser time than me, she had crossed more levels than I had. I should be happy for her, right? Yet I feel very bad that she beats me almost every time we play. I have become so obsessed with this, I spend all my time practising that game even to the extent of ignoring my studies, just so I can beat her next time. I realise I am stuck in a vicious cycle but am unable to come out of it. What do I do?

Rohini

Dear Rohini,
Learn to control your competitive nature. It's one thing to want to be good at whatever you do, and quite another to want to be better than anyone else in whatever you do. Especially with your friends.

If not curbed, you will extend this attitude to your career and later to your relationships, spelling disaster for you. Your self-worth should not come from what others do well, but how well you do.

Try and be happy for others. Tell yourself: she is my friend and I am happy for her. Set realistic goals for yourself and don't compare yourself to anyoneu00a0-- be it at a game or at studies. Tell yourself I will give it my best shot and then accept the results knowing you did the best. Compete with yourself, not with others around you.