25 October,2010 08:55 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
I have been married for two months now. Ours was a love marriage. We were in love for six years before we finally got married. I love him a lot, but I feel that after marriage, he has changed. He never reacts to my demonstrations of love and doesn't care about me anymore.
He is always dependent on his mother. He won't even talk to me properly or even ask how my day went. He is always afraid of his mother. I don't like to stay with my in-laws now. There is no freedom and I can't even talk to my husband properly. But he doesn't think this is a problem.
u00a0
I also like to have sex everyday, but he is just not interested. He always fights with me. Whenever I try to get intimate, he says he is not in the mood and is going to sleep. I don't understandu00a0-- if this is his attitude, why did he marry me? Please tell me whether I should continue in this relationship.
Roopa
Dear Roopa,
It's difficult to change momma's boys. While his mom could be the driving factor behind his strange behaviour, I think his frigidity in bed isu00a0 an altogether different and disturbing demon. You're obviously missing the intimacy you two once shared and he's not making it any easier on you by holding out.
Confront your husband and tell him that it won't work out if he doesn't understand what you're going through. You can't make a marriage work if the passion is missing. I guess it all boils down to knowing if you want to be with this guy even after seeing this side to him.
I didn't love her then, I love her now!
Dear Diana,
On Valentine's Day, a girl proposed to me. I didn't know anything about her, except that she is my friend's sister. I did not want to go there and I declined. But since then, I have fallen in love with her. I don't know how to tell her as I had refused her earlier. What to do?
Rakesh
Dear Rakesh,
You did the correct thing of declining when you didn't know anything about her. But do you know more about her now? What are her likes and dislikes? What qualities attract you to her now? Be very sure of your feelings before you take the next step, or you'll only end up hurting her and your friend. Talk to the girl first and find out if she is still interested. She may have changed her mind too.
Short-term interest
Dear Diana,
I am 27 years old, very good looking and smart. From the time I've been a teenager, several girls have shown interest in me. I have been interested too, but only for a short time. After a while, my interest in those girls simply faded away.
Will I ever get a girl with whom I will be seriously involved? Does all this mean that I have not yet got a proper match for myself or I am expecting a lot from my 'would be wife'? What precaution should I take before agreeing to marry a girl?
Rohan
Dear Rohan,
You've got everything going for you, relax. You've just not met the right girl yet. When you meet her, everything will fall into place. Stop doubting yourself. As for expectations, you have the right to expect that your partner possess certain qualities.
(Your partner has the same right too.) That doesn't mean that when you fall in love, it will be with a girl who fulfills those criteria. Love is unpredictable. It will be up to you and her to decide to what extent you both are willing to compromise on your expectations.
When you make a commitment to marry someone, make sure both of you want the same things from the relationship. And only if you are absolutely sure she is THE ONE, go ahead and commit. Good luck.
