Married for a year, but he's yet to consummate it

Dear Diana,
We've been married for almost a year, but my husband never spends time with me. He comes home late everyday and blames it on traffic. Once he is at home, he is busy with his computer or his books. I try to start conversations, but he only answers my questions and does not take it further.

He says he will only indulge in intellectual discussions and not in silly talk, but surely,u00a0 every couple talks about everyday happenings and NOT sit and debate about one topic, right? I am neither aware nor interested in the topics he discusses and so cannot engage in "intellectual" conversation. He finds it boring to go out so we stay at home on weekends too, but he goes out if I am not home.

We are yet to consummate our marriage. I went through his mobile phone and found he messages one girl in his office quite frequently and talks about general silly things. I have not questioned him regarding this girl because I don't want him to know I suspect him.

I am miserable. Telling my in-laws is not going to stop him seeing someone else. If he loved me he would not have treated me in this way I want to know if he loves someone else. I want to walk away from his life.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
I am assuming this was an arranged marriage. Was he pressured into the marriage by his family? That would explain why he takes no interest in anything you say or do. He won't even initiate a conversation with you, leave alone sex.

He also won't go out with you, and seems quite happy to leave you alone. I would not be surprised if he had a whole new life outside the home. He's either trying to punish his parents for pushing him into this marriage, or he believes that you are totally incompatible with him, and it would be a waste of time to even try. You have two options.

Either you can get a divorce, which would be easy as the marriage hasn't even been consummated yet. Oru00a0 try and make this work but that will be an uphill task. You would have to change yourself completely, and your expectations from him. You will have to put in even his side of the effort, putting your ego aside. If you think, your marriage is worth saving, then fight for it.

But there is no guarantee this will still work. I am sorry I am not giving you any hope. I would say, sit your husband down and ask him straight if there is a chance you both can grow old together, and that you'd like to try and make that possible. If he says no, no point in holding on.u00a0

Na umar ki seema ho, na janm ka ho bandhan...

Dear Diana,
I am a 27-year-old guy and I have been good friends with a 34-year-old woman for quite a while now. Problem is, I have fallen in love with her. I don't what to do because of the age factor. I know she likes me too, but I don't know if she loves me. How do I find out?

Pankaj

Dear Pankaj,
Age should not matter in relationships. It is silly to even discuss age. It is not relevant. What matters is how you feel about each other. Have that conversation with her. You might want to speak to a gynaecologist, if you want to have kids. Sometimes women in their late 30s have problem conceiving. But that can also happen with a woman in her 20s.

What does an organism feel like?

Each orgasmic experience is unique. Orgasms not only differ from person to person, but are also different for the same person. Some of the factors in play are: the level of her physical arousability, the level of her emotional and physical excitement, the amount and quality of emotional stimulation and the amount and quality of the physical stimulation she receives, her level of confidence/comfort with emotional/physical surrender during the sexual activity.

The easiest way to describe an orgasm is to imagine being a balloonu00a0-- your body fills up with pressure till you reach the bursting point; and when you pop, your body attains its fulfilment and relaxes completely. It may come as a ripple or as a massive wave of overwhelming pleasure.u00a0