09 March,2011 09:06 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
My fianc ufffd runs a small-scale business. I'm a working woman as well and we've had a happy life this far. He doesn't have a problem spending on my shopping, food and fun but he does, when i have some financial issue at home. If I ask for help, he retorts, "money should not come between our relationship". I feel wierd about his statement because after marriage I'm not going to be allowed to work. If my dad retires tomorrow and needs financial help, where would I go for help? I don't wantu00a0 us to have problems. What to do?
Dear Naaz,
You're justified in wanting to be able to help your father. For that, being self-sufficient is important. I think you should make it amply clear that you have to work, because you cannot leave your father in the lurch like that. If he is adamant about you not being "allowed" to work, then he needs to provide a suitable alternative. Ideally, I don't think you ought to be so dependent on your guy if he's going to be this stingy.
Effeminate dude has asked me out!
Dear Diana,
Hey, I have been talking to this dude for about a week. He's really funny and quite ambitious. However, he's quite effeminate. He asked me out two days ago for a date. I really don't know what to do.
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
You like his sense of humour and the fact that he's ambitious. All that's holding you back, is that he's a bit feminine in behaviour. It's only a date he's asking you out on. I don't see what the big deal is. Enjoy yourself and stop behaving so holier-than-thou. Don't read too much into it.
Nervous of being naked for him...
Dear Diana,
I want to feel beautiful and desirable. But I hate my body so desperately! I find it very hard to exercise and to give up the foods I want, even though I don't eat that much, and have cut down a lot as well. I don't drink or smoke and I take care of my skin... but am nervous of being naked for the guy I like because I hate my body and I hate my breasts, I could deal with being a curvy woman if I had larger breasts to even out my body but I cry that nobody will want me or want my body.... I feel so ugly and I really want to be sexy and feel gorgeous when naked for him...
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
If you can't love your own body despite its dimensions, you cannot expect someone else to. We all feel we lack certain characteristics that make up an 'ideal' body but getting depressed when we don't look the part, will only serve to make us miserable. And believe me, there's always going to be that extra mile you'll be willing to cross. Be content for what you are. I'm sure that your guy likes you as you are and that it isn't going to make a difference to him whether you're naked or not, he's still going to love your body. Feeling sexy is all in the mind. Feel it, believe in it and you will be.
