My dad fathered my child and I hate it and myself!

Dear Diana,
I come from a conservative family and live with my parents and wife. I got married in 2008. My wife and I tried very hard to get a baby but we were unsuccessful. After consulting the doctors, we found out that I was medically impotent and there wasn't much we could do about my case. The doctor suggested us taking the help of a sperm bank, but my conservative parents and my equally conservative wife were totally against it. They wanted the baby to have the family's blood.

I know in these times that might seem rather stupid but some minds are too strong to change. The three of them decided that my wife should get pregnant from my father and they talked me into it; saying that this is something that happens in many families. They said that in time I will be okay with it and that its important to have the family blood being pure. She just gave birth to a boy last month.

But I hate it. And I hate myself even more because I wasn't man enough to not only produce my own but also that I wasn't able to stop my wife sleeping with another man. I feel like running away from my house and family, somewhere far where I can start afresh with a new name and a new life. Would it be right for me to abandon my wife and parents?I don't care at all about that child.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
You really cannot expect me to believe you had no say in the matter. You could have chosen to walk out on your family the moment the suggestion was brought up. I am surprised your wife went through with this without so much as respecting your wishes. I understand she might well want to be a mother someday, but isn't it unfair for you to go through with something you aren't comfortable with in the first place? Of course, you should have just been more persistent in opposing their decisions. It seems likely that you are never going to live this down and that this will eat at you constantly. You may berate yourself for doing nothing, but you also have to remember that there were other options available.

The hint is a bit too obvious...

Dear Diana,
Can anyone please tell me why a married man has made it a point to tell me that his wife is out of town on business for a few days? Is this an innocent statement or is there a reason he is saying this to me?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Is this guy a friend, a colleague or just an acquaintance? Depending on the bond you share and the context he made that statement, it could mean several things. Of course, by itself the statement means nothing, just information. It's out there for you to decide what you want to do with it and how you choose to act thereof. I wouldn't read too much into it, unless he has shown an obvious interest in spending time with you alone.u00a0