My fiance has fallen for his office colleague

Dear Diana,
I am 25 and my guy is 29. We were engaged six months ago. While looking at some snapshots saved in his cell phone, I found images of a girl who works with him in his office. There were some photos of both my guy and her together. These pictures were not taken in office but at restaurants and other places. I always had my doubts about this girl and by finding these SMSes I definitely know why. I was shattered as we plan to wed by the year-end. When I asked him about the messages, his reply was evasive. He said the girl was going through personal problems due to which he provided her a shoulder to lean on. So they both got close to each other. How could he do this to me? Should I break off my engagement?
-u00a0Rohena


Illustration/Satish Acharya

Dear Rohena,
You certainly have to raise an alarm bell. There is a difference between being a sympathiser and a lover. Your guy may have been concerned about his female colleague and the personal conflict she was going through. But your man did not know where to draw the line especially since he was engaged. He has just let himself go and from your letter it is clear that he has fallen for her. He found the girl in a vulnerable postion and one thing has led to another. You need to have a clear picture where this girl stands in his life. I can understand your predicament but it is better to make things clear right now as later it will be too late. Do not at any cost marry him till he tells you honestly about where this girl stands in your life. Accordingly then decide whether you want to break off.

I am not ready for a physical relationship

Dear Diana,
It's six months since I befriended this guy. We hang out together and I guess it is love. But we really don't know about the future as we are still young. We are both 21. Now my guy thinks we should have a physical relationship. I am not ready for it yet and when I tell him no he gets upset. What should I do?
-u00a0SB

Dear SB,
Stick to your guns. No one can force you to do things you don't want to, or are scared ofu00a0 or don't enjoy it. Tell him your state of mind and tell him to give you time. If he really cares for you, he will respect your decision. If not, he is not the man for you. You are better off without him.

My friend craves for male attention

Dear Diana,
I have this friend with whom I go out. But if any guy gives her any attention, she just forgets that I am around. Often I am left fending for myself alone. Whenever I tell her, she promises that she will not do it again but it is always the same story. How do I deal with her craving for male attention?
-u00a0Name withheld on request

Dear Friend,
Your friend is an extremely inconsiderate soul. Would she like it if you did the same thing to her? Most girls in your age group go out to have fun with their friends, but it sounds like she is going out to find guys! Give her a chance to want to go out with you and not leave you and if she doesn't then make sure you take other friends with you so you aren't left alone. Or better still tell her to find other friends to hang out with.