My guy does not want to commit

Dear Diana,
When I was 24, I met this guy through friends. He was 31 and was about to be hitched. He claimed his parents had fixed up the wedding. But he later realised that they were not compatible and called off the marriage. We have been going around for three years and when I ask him about our future, he is evasive. I am 27 now and my parents want me to settle down. Why is he so non-committal? Sometimes I feel he is still interested in the other woman. He tells me her folks feel because of me he backed out of the wedding. Should I give him an ultimatum as it looks like he has been using me to satisfy his sexual desires but I am in love with him.
-u00a0NY


Illustration/Satish Acharya

Dear NY,
You have been with this man for so many years, so what is he waiting for? He called off his marriage for reasons best known to him, then why is he still talking about something which was not meant to be. He is a confused soul. It appears that his ex has not yet given up hope of being back with him. This is the reason why he is telling you that his ex's folks are blaming you for the split. But from your letter, it is clear that you were not in the picture when he took the decision nor were you the cause of it. Both of you are mature adults and need to take a decision whether you want to continue the relationship. Talk it out and you have to firmly tell him that make a commitment or else, go your separate ways. In the current scenario, both of you are headed nowhere.

I want to pile on the kilos

Dear Diana,
I am 24 years old and extremely skinny. I am called patli and sukhdi by everyone. I want to gain weight desperately. I do eat but there is no gain in weight.u00a0u00a0
- VK

Dear VK,
There are millions of women out there who would love to exchange places with you. You seem to be genetically thin. If you are eating but still not gaining weight, seek medical opinion for some underlying problems. Also, the next time anyone teases you sukhdi, think of the millions who starve and sweat out in gyms or even go under the knife to become thin. My girl, you are lucky, to be thin, count your blessings.

He loves me, but flirts with other girls

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend says he likes me but at the same time sends flirty SMSes to other girls, some of whom even I know! When I asked him about it, he told me he does it to see if I feel jealous. At the same time, if I hang around with guys, he gets so insecure and I have to answer numerous questions. Why does he do this to me?
-u00a0Vidhisha

Dear Vidhisha,
As the first step, you need to speak to him. Your guy is one insecure person. He can do anything with the other girls, but if you are seen with a guy, he brings the roof down. Tell him if he continues to behave like this, it is better that you stay just friends. Remember over time, you can get over people. And I am sure you will find someone special for you.