25 January,2011 09:52 AM IST | | Dear Daina
Dear Diana,
I had written earlier about how my husband, who works abroad, told me over the phone that I have no right to ask him about his expenses.
Illustration/Satish Acharya
He called the next day and said he loves me, but he can't understand what I am trying to tell him. I told him how his words had hurt me. He says he can't stay without talking to me. He calls me at least four times a day and we chat for atleast two hours via webcam.
About the house I had mentioned that we purchased -- it belonged to one of our uncles and the other uncle lent us the money. The house is in my name and he paid half the amount at the time of purchase. He was to repay the loan over two years but hasn't paid anything in the past seven months because he had to pay for my surgery during that time and his brother's studies abroad. He has told me that he will take me abroad within the next 1.5 years. He is very caring and loving, and we can't live without each other but he still has the problem of spending too much money. How do I explain to him the importance of saving for the future?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Obviously your husband is working abroad because it pays better. Make him understand that staying apart from each other is a big price that you are both paying, and it would be a pity if at the end of it, you didn't have a substantial amount of savings to show for it. Just fix an amount that he should send you every month and that you can save. Say you have some expenses, if he is averse to the idea of saving. Do not nag, bring up the topic gently. Tell him you are worried about the future. Are you working? If not, maybe you can do a part time job and start saving from your salary.
Love my cousin, what to do?
Dear Diana,
I am a normal person in love with my cousin. She also loves me but she is afraid to tell her parents. They have already fixed her wedding. We text each other everyday. What do I do?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
If she is already engaged, you have left it too late. No point in acting now. Besides you both are cousins, and that will bring its own set of problems. Firstly there will be stress within the families, and of course there is the danger of your children having genetic defects. I think you should just forget her.u00a0
I have a crush on my boss...
Dear Diana,
I am a single man and I have just joined a small private firm. The owner is a cute single guy who is well mannered, polite, soft spoken, charming and handsome. I have a strong crush on him. I feel he likes me a lot, but he behaves in a normal way with me. But I get so nervous to just talk to him, that I end up behaving oddly in his presence. It's pathetic but I am losing sleep over it. I know I have to get rid of this feeling or the price will be high. I am ready to quit this job for peace of mind. I have had such feelings for other good looking guys in the past.
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
It's not the best thing in the world to have a crush on a boss. But you know what, a crush is a crush, and soon enough you will forget about it. The nature of a crush is such that it isn't permanent. It's just a phase, so I think you should wait it out before thinking of quitting a good job. Your boss is being polite because you work for him, you might want to consider that he doesn't have any feelings for you.
As for you turning into a bumblehead around him, that is well within your control. Whenever he is around, count to 10 before you say anything. Think about what you are going to say. Form the sentence in your head, and then speak. Also, speak strictly when spoken to, and keep all conversations about work.
